Three moons O' so brightly lit.
Covering a darkened land.
Two men a-watch it rise
To the fullest extent.
Amused at this sight,
The two men watch with intent
To devour the light within.
Five stars a-glimmer high.
Falling from the moons like sand.
One woman sees this happen.
Her heart was then lifted up,
And her life became a smile.
It showed upon her lips,
And sparkled from within.
Four hours later, O' down
The three moons went . . .
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Four hours later, O' down
The three moons went . . .
I love the matematics of life which you depicted in your poetic verse here...your words are very deep and enlightening as well...you are describing the scene of life through the window of your heart and
touching the muse of the readers as well..The intensity level of this verse is very appropriate in terms of its requirtement to depict the truth of the life ...Indeed a piece of the heart....
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Finally someone who has technique around here! I'm having a difficult time finding people who actually know how to write. Nice poem! I applaud you!
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Great imagery. This poem has beautiful and vivid imagery. Good job using your words to paint a picture. I love the feeling and emotion.
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Hmm, very visual. I like it.
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I'm sorry to say, this poem has been eliminated from the contest.
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This was an interesting write I enjoyed it very much.
Thank you for entering the contest.
Good Luck. -
This is really beautiful, its full of feeling and emotion, and I like the title as I am quite rubbish with titles.
Five stars a-glimmer high.
Falling from the moons like sand.
These are amazing lines and I think are the best in this poem. Lots of good imagery in the whole poem. Good job -
This is a really pretty write. I liked the imagery this portrayed. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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Beautiful
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Wonderful
This is an exelent write its to bad it did not win the contest i thought it was pretty good.For me i usualy dont like the light i like dark evil morbid and abusive poetry but this poem is completly wonderful i realy enjoyed reading it,my fav line was "It showed upon her lips,
And sparkled from within" those lines were absulutly wonderful they gave me such a vibrant picture in my head.thank you for the comment on my poem i appreciate it.
-maddie
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Wonderful poem twunder! Sounds interesting I hope you win the contest. It looks pretty good!
Keep writing(or else),
evilsss
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Interesting
This is really interesting, it captures some quite vivid images for me.
"Amused at this sight,
The two men watch with intent
To devour the light within"
I particuarly like these lines, they suggest these men share a secret of some kind?
A very good write. -
Damn
I really like this peice. it is really good -
Very unique and creative write. It takes one on a journey into your words, which are very captivating.
Lovely love and beautiful word choice.
Nicely done!
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this was absolutely increadable. it was pretty captivating.
"Five stars a-glimmer high.
Falling from the moons like sand.
One woman sees this happen.
Her heart was then lifted up,
And her life became a smile.
It showed upon her lips,
And sparkled from within."
this was my favorite part. but the whole thing was brilliant.
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Intriguing
Very good writing .. I visualized my way through the words and was carried along on a fascinating journey! Thanks for sharing!
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"Five stars a-glimmer high.
Falling from the moons like sand."
I really like that line.
The ending was very good too.
Well, the whole thing was very good, but the ending really tied it together.
Great job.
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