Lost in depression,
Consumed by the pain...
Feeling of emptiness,
With just me to blame.
Realizing....sadly,
There's only one way to deal,
To end all of this guilt
and pain that I feel.
I go to our shed,
So no one will know.
The method I chose
is painless and slow.
I start up the tractors,
I sit in a chair,
I watch the exhaust
Take the place of the air.
After several minutes
I have no concerns,
The fog becomes thick
And my eyes start to burn.
I'm feeling light headed,
Like I may drift to sleep...
When suddenly I'm reminded
Of a promise I must keep.
The door opens up...
My youngest sister, she's crying,
Another bad dream...
About our mom and her dying.
She walks up to me
With those tears in her eyes.
I remember a promise I made,
To my mom as she died.
To watch over my sisters
And help them feel whole,
From that moment on...
I made that my goal.
Amber never realized
What she saved me from that night,
She maybe never will...
Which is probably alright.
But I'll never forget
As she walked through that door,
My guardian angel...
With her heavenly glow.
Her invisible wings
May not give her flight...
But they brought her to me, that night...
and that's how she saved my life.
Author notes
#3
This happened a couple months after my mom was killed in an accident....I've never written about it before, but it just kept coming into my thoughts lately...so there it is...one of my lowest points...a defining moment in my life...I hope this helps.
A contest entry
- Prewrite Phenomenon #7 by Ryno.
300 points, ended May 10, 2007, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - How To Save A Life by Faerie.Princess.
450 points, ended July 1, 2007, 21 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Something real by MadHatter1920.
300 points, ended February 19, 2008, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Invite For... HM winners Judged by RedwingSpirit.
475 points, ended April 7, 2008, 46 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - misery loves company... by nobodys-girl.
700 points, ended January 18, 92 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Memories by Blasphemous Girl.
1800 points, ended April 9, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Very chilling emotion, and the descriptions were well done. The whole piece really pops out of the page. The lightening of the mood at the end is a touching addition.
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It's brilliant. Very descriptive, I felt like I was actually there in the shed it was that descriptive. I like that it's hopeful. It's not all doom and gloom, you were in a bad place and pulled through it. I think that makes the poem stand out. I can feel your love for your little sister here too. I just love everything about this poem, except that you mom had to die for you to write this masterpiece. I'm very sorry for your loss but you've expressed everything beautifully here. Well done on an excellent piece.
Thanks for entering and best of luck in the contest -
I said I wanted to be able to feel the words, and I can. I said I wanted the words to jump out of the page, and they do. It is full of emotion and feeling. I can relate with this piece a little, you are lucky someone you loved and you them, stopped you in your tracks, and stopped you making a big mistake. Powerful piece, well done and thanks for entering this into my contest x
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she is and will always be my hero....thanks for the honor, I'm glad it touched you.
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I really loved it.
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little siblings are amazing when it comes to saving us. if it wasnt for my amazing little brother i know i wouldnt be alive today. im sorry for all the pain and suffering that you have had to go through. thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck.
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congrats on the other trophy's and this is an amazing peace i love the rhyme and am sorry you had to go trough something like that, but its a good thing you made that promise and i love how you refer to your little sis as a guardian angle this is a well penned amazing peace full of emotion I can tell that it is real keep up the great work
~GOOD LUCK~
*Dark Poet* -
Lots of emotion...could feel this. Well done.
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Nice Work
Hello there and thanks for entering.I'm sorry about your lost to your mother.I enjoyed your piece so i'm gonna add your piece to be on the finalist page best of luck to you..
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This is awesome !! Congratulations on all the golds and the hm. Thank you for taking the time to enter this poem into my contest I wish you the best of luck
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oh my gosh... this was wonderful... its horrible to think that this was a true story though...
It takes a lot of guts though to write a poem about it and tell everyone.
Thank you so much for entering my contest and good luck,
~lumin -
beautifully written... well deserving of golden cups
thank you for sharing...
again congrats
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This was beautiful. I swear i was crying by the end of it. It was very touching and an amazing poem. Awesome job. I'm sorry for what happened. Good luck.
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This was definitely beautiful and inspiring. I'm very glad your little sister had walked in (even though I don't know you). Some of the most unsuspecting people can change your entire life. This was a sad, yet heart-warming poem.
Thank you for entering, and good luck
Jeanette*~ -
I entered this The Best/Worst Day Of Your Life...So Far too, but I sincerely think you should win. This is a really good poem. Good luck in the contest!
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It's going to be hard to choose between your poems as they are all very good. This has obviously affected you deeply (that is a ridiculously obvious thing to say) and I think it's really good how you can write poems about it - man I sound so patronising. I wish you all the best x take care and good luck x
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Very nice.
Thank you for entering,
Best of luck. -
A very moving poem. It takes courage to share this. Congrats on winning the contest. This poem certainly deserves a golden trophy.
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that is one of the most beautiful poems i have ever read. you are lucky to have a sister like her. but it goes to show that people save others without even knowing it. really beautiful. good luck in the contest and keep writing
Thank You For Entering -
WOW!!!!
wow this was a power packed poem!! SO much emotion and honesty!!! This piece shows you at probably weakest moment!! And for you to be able to share this with us!!! Wow That takes so much strength and courage!!! I applaud you!!! This was a Beautiful piece!!! It had great flow to it!!! And I loved it!!! Completely loved it!!! Great job!!! Fantastic Write!!!
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wow what a sad story, you are brave for sharing this... thank God for your sister, she is an angel... great write and thanks for entering... and keep your head up
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This Should Win!
This wasnt your lowest point in life it was your highest !
You saved her life instead of taking yours!
You gave your pain up for her !
I applaude you !
You were her hero even in your sadness.
hugs to you,
~Lisa~
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This is absolutely incredible. There really is nothing to say after reading a poem like this... nothing to say at all. Only that it was absolutely beautiful, and almost made me cry.
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This is a fantastically written poem~ Clearly you can feel it~ I am sorry about your mom~ Sometimes you need to get it out~ I really believe that even though the AP has contests~ the poems are all still part of you! good luck in the contest!
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a very defining moment. i'm soooo sorry for your loss. that is quite an experience. just remember hun. never let go. its not worth it.
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So emotion-felt and heartwrenching. Your flow, and the amount of rhymes you could use to add to the flow (without even noticing it) was just astonishing. Though I wish you had kept a more convenient rhyme-scheme, the rhymes you do have were not forced and were natural. These is filled with how we all deal with tragedies.
Thanks for entering.
~Ryan~ -
This is just too much you made me cry. Absolutely heart wrenchingly sad and to know it is true is almost unbearable. Thank God for Amber and the promise you made your mother.
Brilliantly written with a fantastic flow. Best of luck in the contest. Bravo -
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Thanks Poetesse, this was a hard one for me to write...but it's just been playing over and over in my head lately...so I thought it might help to write it down...thanks.
Wyatt xxx
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Brilliant!
Brought tears to my eyes.
You are doing a wonderful thing by raising your sisters, and I know, there will be days that seem extremely hard, and days you don't think you can make it raising them. But their love and all the memories that you'll build will be so worth it. God has a plan in it all, even in this incident. It made you see someone else needed you and whatever else it may have showed you.
Thank you for sharing. This is a very emotional piece.
God bless you always
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brillant
this gives me such strength to know we truly do have guardian angels to nudge us throw the ruffest spots of the lonely days and nights when we can't carry on and just don't know how we will make it without help from that little light that makes us strong.
Tamara
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Wow this is extraordinary, well done for bringing one of your worst moments to such great light. Excellent, well done x keep it up dude and take care x
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Hey guy, thanks for the comment, I keep meaning to get back and read your work...I have read your author's page and agree with it totally...almost like I wrote it myself
Anyway, thanks.
Whyitt Uxxx
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Oh Wyatt...
This made me cry..
Thank God for your sister.. and for your strength.
Angie
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I really like this, always a good idea to place your poems on real life stories. a really good write, that you so much for sharing!
keep it up
much love kaydee
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