Soft pale beautiful skin
Touch like silk or satin
Here comes your twin
And she speaks in Latin
“Come back to bed”
I whisper in her ear
Her legs begin to spread
Now I know I belong here
Tangled sheets
And mangled hair
Nothing beats
This love so rare
Moaning screams
I just can’t get enough
They’re enjoying this it seems
Now lets make it rough
Dig your nails into my flesh
Make me scream
These wounds so fresh
Proof it wasn’t a dream
Now touch my chest
Four hands on me
I must be blessed
This is plain to see
A contest entry
- Lesbian Erotica, Ya'll wanna enter by A-Sky-Lark.
725 points, ended November 23, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Promise...sing
Interesting approach but more Greek than Latin in my book. Love should have no reason to differentiate between sexes and focalization either on this or - as you have put in your note - the sex itself ... fails to fulfill this particular reader
Best of luck for the future -
i really liked it. the structure was good and the content and the way you put it was good.
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At first I thought this was going to be about "dirty laundry"
lol,
no in all seriousness this is a really good piece.
I liked your general rhyming scheme and the way you don't try to cover up what you are writing about.
In fact I think its genius... keep up the good work.
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I like this poem, and I think that since you did not say the subject that is really added to the over all effect of the poem
"Tangled sheets
And mangled hair
Nothing beats
This love so rare"
this is my favorite part, I like your use of words. -
i loved these parts:
Soft pale beautiful skin
Touch like silk or satin
Here comes your twin
And she speaks in Latin
“Come back to bed”
I whisper in her ear
Her legs begin to spread
Now I know I belong here
Tangled sheets
And mangled hair
Nothing beats
This love so rare
Moaning screams
I just can’t get enough
They’re enjoying this it seems
Now lets make it rough
Dig your nails into my flesh
Make me scream
These wounds so fresh
Proof it wasn’t a dream
Now touch my chest
Four hands on me
I must be blessed
This is plain to see
so basically the whole entire thing. it was sensual i loved the way it rhymed. great amazing job. -
this poem started off sizzing but to me towards then end you left the topic it is good you just didnt stay on the subject. hugs!!!
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On my poem -Tangled sheets- I didn't want people to only focus in on the two girls. I wanted it to be about the sex. The two girls are something you get if you are paying any attention at all. My poem wasn't about anyone and it isn't really a dream or anything...just a thought of being with two girls. But I didn't want it to be overwhelming.
Thank you for your kind words on my poem
Much love
Amanda
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fab, loved this poem
i hope your audance enjoyed it
i loved stanza 4
"Moaning screams
I just can’t get enough
They’re enjoying this it seems
Now lets make it rough"
very well written, keep it up -
Wow... it flows well... the passion and the excitement of bring with these two women are felt through your words... good job.
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Wow very weel written
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this was great
this was a very well-written piece and the wording was perfect...whoever this was for I hope ythat they like it
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It was grate
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This is a nice pome and I like how you worded everthing keep writing
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