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~~~Unsaid indifference's~~~

Eyes shut in eternity
devoid of human textures
retorting voices without movements
in a circular array.

Rising and falling
from the tenderness
of my lips
that seems unusual to me
...

an incantation
to dismember our fears.

I bleed
you reflect.

I smile
glimpsing with shy eyes
at your masculine feature
but my surprise builds me.

I spin in a hazel net
gazing at a scenario
that is highlighted
with an unique boldness
that strikes at the core.

Castles of the inexistent
adorned with creatures
that seem vaguely familiar

a hurricane
they perish
in the periphrey
of my thoughts.

A mirage bloats
a mirrorly confusion.

Rigid yet soft
you stare back at me.
Do I look different to you...

you surely do
but you do not bear
the breath of the mortal's being.

What a shame
you were never born...
locked up inside
as a reflection
of my unsaid indifference's.

Author notes

OPtion no3!!

Here the girl is looking at the mirror which reflects an image that is her imagination...a feeling of deja vu reflects on the mirror as it dawns upon her that she had been living in her own world of illusions.

Thanks for the inspiration!

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • forever dreaming
    June 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    We all often see outrselves so differently to how others see us. I love the imagery you have used within this piece. Very cleverly crafted and put together to give an outstanding effect. Well done and many thanks for entering my contest.


  • Wolf Mistress silver member
    May 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on the silverPreetshug*


  • catz Moderators member
    May 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    We see ourselves so differently at different times. This is really a good interpretation of those images which peer back at us from our mirrors.

    Excellent piece. Good luck in the contest

    Dee


  • FifthDove
    May 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! I am impressed, this piece is quite good. The vocabulary is great and the way it is used is ever greater, loved the ending also Best wishes in the contestDove


  • Partners In Crime
    May 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Just leaving a bit of a comment so it shows I have commented on this piece. I have already commented under my real ap name.

  • Wolf Mistress silver member
    May 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    SPEECHLESS!!!!!

    Speechless preets, you left me speechless

    This is just brilliant girl*girl*

    Much clappies for you



    XXJeannette


  • countrybabe gold member
    May 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Well Done

    Well done on this piece. I liked this very much. Thank you for your entry and good luck.

    Keep writing

    Countrybabe


  • Kari gold member
    May 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow this gave me total shivers...you've done so good on this talk about emotion! Awesome job and the best of luck in the contest
    Kari


  • between slices
    May 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    and this goes into my bookmarks!
    see how much i like this? i'm givin it a special place!

  • between slices
    May 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WOW!!
    that was seriously an awesome write gurl!!! i'm really interested in the thorught train of this... i mean, it's so different, so spontaneous, so random... at a first glance i actully envisioned a witch staring at preserved creatures that she uses for her spells, among them a man that she had, most probably, feelings for.. of course, it's perceptions.. but this is SO abstract, so different of you, i'm really impressed with this write gurl! there IS a tendency to get lost within the imagery of this, the sudden change of your pictorial depictions.. but i like the thinking that goes into this...


    bravo!!!!


  • Ethereal One gold member
    May 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    very well written

    Your words create many interesting images for the reader. I like the mood you create in this poem, and I especially like:

    "Castles of the inexistent
    adorned with creatures
    that seem vaguely familiar

    a hurricane
    they perish
    in the periphrey
    of my thoughts.

    A mirage bloats
    a mirrorly confusion."

    Thank you for entering this contest, and good luck!

    Aurora 2012


  • sassylilpoet silver member
    May 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love your imaginary! and the title is great as well as the ending. After looking at the picture though, I think what is missing is the rest of the picture, you focused on the masculine image, but nothing about the castle, or knights/horses. I think it would be awsome if you capture the rest of the picture. Great wor

    • phoenixonfire
      May 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Hey!! Thanks for the idea...I did not notice the background..I did as you said and added a para about the scenario...thanks for the idea sweety!! Really appreciate it!

      preets

1 - 13 of 13