In the vastness of self all dreams are lost
Love is washed away from one shore to another
When we close our eyes we generally see nothing
When we open them again
We are given new things to see
And some to believe in.
What does not kill us makes us wish we were dead.
If not pain some other thing would have killed you.
All is dead and gone
But the touch of love remains
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Hopeful, I hope.
Despite the rather "down" feel to these line the end gives the mind hope for where are we without love?
Thanks for the read. Donald -
Yes, that it does and it can leave a deep and horrid scar for all to see. Your words speak the truth and I love them. YOu rock and so does your poetry. Keep up your awesomeness cause you are truly awesome!! ^-^ much love as always.
~Your fan~
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Wow.....
your a lot better than i am. i can tel you that much, its talent like this that i wish i had. you realy have a gift! its so true....so moving... -
so true... this is just wow! i don't no what to say you have so much talent!
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Wow
This really jumps out at me, not really one part in particular but just the whole thing. it seemsto have a deep feeling to it and thats what hooks me in with poems. It's real good. i like "What does not kill us makes us wish we were dead." just plainly because at the moment i'm sick of hearing the phrase "What does not kill us makes us stronger." and half the time i really disagree with it and stick by your line. i like it.
~Tear~
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I just thought I would let you know...that in the title, it should be "Your Touch" not "You're touch"...otherwise it makes no sense...because you're is short for you are. Now that I have that out of the way, I loved the fourth to last line...."What does not kill us makes us wish we were dead." I'd always heard it as what does not kill us can only make us stronger...nice twist! I really liked this poem, keep up the great work, and thanks so much for your kind words on my piece "Drinking Away The Pain" It's very personal to me, and I tried my best to capture the emotions I have been feeling. I greatly appreciated your comment! Great write, and keep up the good work!
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wow this is deep...i love the emotions and the amazing imagery you have penned within the poem well done to you xxx
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