Dear lady,
please look up- just once...
Though no arms,
I値l wrap my longing reverie
about your waist
let the aching tendrils of my mind
be the palms to stroke your hair.
Though no legs,
I値l walk with you on
stems of my highest pain
under moonlit skies and toward
the crashing sea of feral waves
Though vision weak,
I値l watch you as I have been-
from the glass of this domed spire
should your eyes look up and meet mine
you'll find your knight in golden armor
Though ears miss the thundering ebb
you'll sense the music of my soul-
the lilting serenade at eventide
in volumes I'll sweep you under
coquetry's tremolo with which I'll adore you
Though my scarred body is locked in
the prison of singed flesh
I値l be your inflamed desire,
for I値l bleed your heart with the
sweet blade of my loneness.
Let all that I have not
be the love you値l ever need
in this tower
where ardor soars
O'dear lady,
please
look up................
Author notes
Written June 22nd, 2002
A contest entry
- inner beauty by .
250 points, ended August 13, 2003, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "La Belle et Le Bad Boy" by scream.n2.nite.
1050 points, ended April 16, 2008, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Still as beautiful as the first time
I read it. Again. For the hundredth time. And still loved it. Again.
So well done...
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Umm... okaaaay... I tried commenting once before but soemthing went screwy =P As I SAID: Thank you for entering!! This piece was very well-written and I love how all the wording and imagery is somewhat "dressed" while the core subject of the overall work is supposed to be beneath the skin... Great work!!!
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breathtaking, the way it ebbs. your language never failed to be consistent and i'm constantly admiring your breadth of awareness. knowledge. etc. etc.
is there a duality in this? something beyond the physical realm? beyond the watchtower?
enjoyed as always. -
I really like this a lot, it is an amazing poem.... I feel it was written in a very loving way... sticking by someone no matter what happens... if looks fade away, love is still there... because you can see past the looks...
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Excellent
I love this poem because if you can always remember to look up there's always someone with you. Yet with internet and such a nice outlet as Kevin's brainstorm here we even have cyber angels to look up to too. Thank you Cookie Zeal for alerting me of my typo on Battered Life on my Contest poem. Yes, it was hard to write just like it is hard each time I floss my once shattered teeth that I always know lie scarred beneath the dental repairs. So especially this poem touched my soul. Godspeed and best wishes 24/7 and always
Edited on Jul 27, 10:04 p.m. because ''. -
AawhhhhhhhhThank you, sis. But...uh. That is not so. You are the corner of this rainbow. Do it!
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What a remarkable poem this is
I am looking up at your lighthouse beam
The bright light of talent that attracts me to your
open arms of poetry. Gather me in and teach me the
secrets of your beautiful pen.
Oh, I would not dare to touch this challenge.
Nor come close to your jagged shores of intricately
woven verse.
Applause is not good enough.
I give you a grand poetic hug.
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Beautifuly amazing excellent
Dearest Aunt Cookie, This is a beautiful piece wow it shows such love beyond looks when caring about whats inside and not outwardly......This is a lovely romantic piece and for that
that couple to join in the wholeness as one in the sadness
of the outward shell as they refelect on whats within.
Wonderful and amazing piece...Hugs to you, Sherry -
Beautiful, touching piece! I think this fits the category wonderfully. I love the underlying tone of sadness and longing as he expresses his desire for her to notice him. Good luck with the contest!
*NON*
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this is exquisite in pain and love
u already know you are the winner,
regardless of the trophy hung beside your name.
LOL
big
/
Tamara
when you coming to visit again? -
::applause::
Wow! This is going to be the winner, for sure. Incredible. I wish my poems would turn out like that, with so much depth and meaning! Beautiful work, truly.
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Hopeful,don\'t change a thing
Cookie, I am rooting 4 this piece to be the WINNER! What beauty told in a physical situation that eats up one's soul. I see here the Hope, Love, and Comfort of pulling another into the positive, of any given situation. I am a firm believer that in any scenrio, if we Look hard enough there is always something positive left inside. Regaurdless of the collateral damage from our fallen world. You gift of beautiful flowing words, penned with the style that makes your the special writer you are: Leaves me standing Humbled and in Awe of your God given Talent.... Lighthouse and Red ink perfecto for the presentation. Lighthouse representing the small light to safety through our Lord. Red ink the Blood He shed for us All..... Totally anointed piece, I see here! Thank for the help this a.m. The files will not load at AP. Still need some coaching when you have time. My prayers are with you and your family....As I know yours are with mine. Try and catch you later... Keep penning my friend. Great for stress relief! Take care of yourself,too! God Bless You Richly,Keda
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