Outside the window as I look through the glass
of old wooden windows: traffic seems to glide
to and flow along the police-stations patch.
The security is great which street drinkers pass.
A theatre opposite on Sunday is used as a church
and from my window I see well dressed colourful
Folk. The windows I keep sparkly clean and free
from any net curtains so they can see affiliates.
The community outside my window seems to offer
everything, and my oyster card left upon the sill
shows that I may go anywhere. But outside many
times folk’s walk or congregate below the window.
They see inside: Washing dishes and ironing clothes.
Outside they may here my music there at the Opera
House but I cannot hear their singing, thank god.
Xylophones visually tapped upon the un-earthen sill.
Next to the Police station on the opposite side
is a night club. The Opera House is also quiet
and the cue’s outside on a Saturday night
Remind me why these voyeur pursuits; tongue-tied.
Author notes
Quick and honest (ly)
A contest entry
- Window Images by Laura Lamarca.
650 points, ended May 10, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Open Your Windows by ea.
500 points, ended July 31, 2008, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
View from my window
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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you know what? I KNEW I recognized that last line and I was sitting here scratching my head trying to remember what famous poem it is from. Now I see it is one of your own! lol - tell me I don't have a mind like a steel trap...
and... I even had gone away once upon a time and researched oyster cards. Well, this is quite effective the second time around, I must say! -
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Have you read this on the poetry.com thingy Ea.
They say they were going to read it in VEGAS, or somewhere like this.
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Lots to enjoy here, Robert. But questions remain such as who can see affiliates? What are affiliates? And more importantly, what's an oyster card? Why does Folk. begin l. 7? Outside they may "hear" because you can in the line below. Folks and cues have no apostrophes. Remind me why these voyeurs pursue, tongue-tied.
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Thanks Laura
I have updated it from your valuable critism. Thank you kindly. Can't chat am now getting ejected from Uni it's closing time. Be well! -
There are quite a few spelling mistakes in this piece that need looking at and a small edit could be in order - they distracted me from reading. "Folk" - I had a problem with this being repeated, I'm a stickler for repitition only in formed poetry and feel that in this case, it's been repeated because you didn't take the time to think of another word. Overall, this is a good piece and with an edit, could be a great piece. Thanks for entering my contest and good luck. La x
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