What does it matter
this idle chatter
a story with nothing to tell.
Trapped mind in time
reason to rhyme
envisioned in flames of hell.
Wonder to ponder
what lies yonder
as cherubs flutter about.
Chosen to deliver
dipped in the river
raised to remain walking stout.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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I'm commenting this one because I have courtesy (balls). I have not much to say on this one, but it was pretty good. Perfect rhyming. Keep writing,
-Mitchell
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Ooh, I love it.. Powerful message, and nice rhyming, as said..and said.
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Oh. This is an interesting poem that you have going on here. It is short but it has a fun little rhyme. Not that it makes fun of your message or anything. The message seems serious and thoughtful. Kind of like you're feeling a little frustrated with the world right now. Lestways, that's how it sounded to me. I thought you did a good job of expressing yourself here.
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Superb
I find this one to be rather intriguing. Imagery; rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Thanks for sharing this one with us.
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Nice rhyme scheme and rhythm, but I'm not sure what the first three stanzas have to do with the last, which is a perfect little story in itself... of course, it's late at night here, and I may just have to come back for another read when my brain is working better!
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I love the rhyme scheme. (Hope you don't mind if I try it someday.) Nice post.
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This is great.The rhyming is perfect and the flow is great.You made writimg in rhyme look effortless.I found myself humming to this Kind of a little song.I love the backround that you chose,the perfect match title and words.Hope one day that I can write as well as you.
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Sweet!
Very delightful read. To me the flow was smooth. I did not stub me toe along the way to the end. Write On! VaV-VOOM! -
amazing poem.
very powerful.
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I really like your rhyme scheme in this piece. i guess something like:
aab aab aab aab ...i think that how you write it out...anyway, really seem to give it a neat rhythem
and nice use of imagery
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Interesting, I'm a bit confused on the subject matter but it was beautifully written
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i really liked rhyming in this poem!
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the rhyming scheme was excellent... usage of words was very carefully done...
nice work... -
Excellent rhyme scheme and a fine sharing this is!
Thank you for being part of the contest!
All the best to you! -
Well, you definately have a good rhyming patter here, and followed it without a flaw
It took me three times reading though before I actually 'got' this poem, but that's probably because English isn't my maternal language
Thank you for sharing and keep it up!
Leander -
Great rhyming & nice flow to it...Like it so much..Powerful & true
Thanks for entering my contest & best of Luck
GloriousGift
Heba
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