The shadow in your eyes say it all,
your tantalizing kiss no longer holds its effect
and your smile is a little more fake.
Your angelic face explodes into an array
of anger and rage,
contorting your delicate features.
Your unclean stares flow to other girls;
you drink in their curvaceous figures and intimately touch behind hidden curtains..
I'm slowly fading and becoming transparent in your new deflowered vision..
My grin no longer pleases you,
my eyes no longer perplex you,
and my face is no more than a dull story for you to read.
Our faithful relationship is dying,
and now,
We are dead.
Author notes
Option 13.
Words used: shadow, tantalizing, angelic, delicate, unclean, fading, transparent, and faithful.
Dear Amanda,
Very nice Contest you have going on. I love all the choices, and how people can enter many times. Now, while I was writing my poem, I was really just writing it for the sake of just writing a poem, and I liked the words you had in the word bank. I'm sorry if my poem doesn't sound so.. smooth. Anyways, after reading the poem, and thinking of a title for it, I decided to call it "AIDS". The poem, to me, sounded like a relationship slowly ending because of the boys interest in other women, him sleeping around, and contracting AIDS, and giving it to his girlfriend. So essentially, they are dying together, like their relationship is.
Thank you for reading this poem!
Sincerely,
DdollfaceK
=^.^=
A contest entry
- A cascade of magical options are flying in your face!!!!!! by AutumnsFlame.
415 points, ended June 27, 2007, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
HAHA... I like you. And I like this poem.
1) It was a fun metaphor
2) YOU FOLLOWED THE RULES! YAAYY!
3)You used the words so they didn't sound like you forced them in there.
5) I don't know if "un-virgin" is a word.
Thank you for entering and good luck in my contest! -
-
Hehe, thanks!
But yeahh, I knew "un-virgin" was not a word, but like I said, I was writing for the sake of just writing, so I didn't like, wanna change it. But now I did, I changed it to "deflowered".
Hope that sounds better! ^-^
-
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