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Sunsets

 

 

Bright

colors

begin the

evening sunset

*

Pink and purple hues

shine through impending twilight

glorious is nature’s night

each sunset unique

*

Surrendered now

forever

to be

in

solemn

memories

once here then gone

*

Here only moments

still some never forgotten

lasting visions begotten

on nature’s easel

*

Tonight’s complete

tomorrow

starts once

more

*

Author notes

Arkquain Swirl* This Form will allow you to connect your *Arkquain* Forms by elliminating one of the ( 1 ) syllable lines, therefore, the syllable count on this certain piece is:
1-2-3-4
5-7-7-5
4-3-2-1-2-3-4
5-7-7-5
4-3-2-1
As always, the two ( 7 ) syllable lines within each individual *Arkquain* MUST rhyme ~ You have now created a *Swirl* The number of *Arkquain* Forms you choose to place together to create your *Swirl* is up to you ~ This will get tricky if you are half asleep or not paying attention to syllable count ~

In a list

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Comments

1 - 24 of 24

  • Arkbear gold member
    May 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    A Most Beautiful Theme ~

    However....

     

    I am going to deduct serious points

    for stucture and aesthetic eye appeal ~

     

    Perfect syllable count though ~

     

    Flow was not bad at all...

    ..I thought it was rather good ~

     

    The Theme is splendid ~

     

    The imagery is breathtaking ~

     

     

    But.....

     

    you have got to work on your FORM!!!!

     

    The Arkquain is ART!!

     

    Just like a Lanturne,

    a Cinquain,

    a Rictameter,

    or a Haiku',

    the Arkquain was created for t

    he beauty of its' FORM!!

     

    Line 1, is actually overlapping line 2 ~

     

    Lines, 6, 9, 15, 16, 19 & 21 are no where near lining

    up for the structures eye appeal ~

     

    As it says in the rules....

    Aesthetic appeal is 75% of your score ~

     

    Nice Swirl, but fell way short in

    Aesthetic presentation ~

     

    ( - 1.0 pts. )

     

    SCORE:   9.0

     

    SMILE!!

     

    Your efforts show!

     

    Another chance at BIG pts. in the next contest ~

     

    Winner takes all!

     

    Bear ~


  • joyya
    May 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like this, beautiful sunset. My favorite times of the day are sunrise and sunset. Love the form. Very nice flow. I had a little stumble with lines two and three - "colors begins the" - think it would have better grammer if an "s" was removed from one or the other. "color begins" or "colors begin" just a thought. Love this write a lot.


    • freespirit51
      May 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for your wonderful comment. I am glad you found it to your liking. It always amazes me on how beautiful this time can be.


  • freespirit51
    May 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks so much for the wonderful comment. I enjoyed the challenge of the write myself.


  • Lady-Pegasus
    May 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting piece to be certain, nice flow to it, hehe I loved the last line in your notes, hehe I have mearned about doing ne thing on here in that condition, hehe i tried judging a contest once way late at night, was not pretty sight! Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e

  • deleteit
    May 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A beautiful poem to say the least! I love the canvas of the sky as twilight approaches and you captured the beauty so well in these words! Best of luck in the contest


  • Spiritvision angel
    May 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Images of colorful delights that seem to be a gift to each of us to see if only we take the time to do so. Each beauitful in their own way. wonderful write with a promise of knowing tomorrow holds yet another colorful delight. Thanks for sharing this .


    • freespirit51
      May 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much for your wonderful comment . I am glad you enjoyed it.


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    May 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    BREATH TAKING

    My sister you have painted a most wonderful picture with your words...even though I couldn't be there you have taken me with you with your words...All the wonderful glory of a sunset never to be seen again...each different in its on way thank you so much for sharing


    • freespirit51
      May 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks My Sister for your wonderful and inspiring words. Glad you enjoyed the piece as much as i did.


  • Trueheartforlife
    May 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Great

    This poem was great it painted such a vivid picture. My favorite part was:

    Here only moments

    still some never forgotten

    lasting visions begotten

    on nature’s easel

    *

    Tonight’s complete

    tomorrow

    starts once

    more

    *

    Those two stanzas were great and so graceful. Great job and best of luck in your writing future.


    • freespirit51
      May 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Trueheart for your inspiring words. I am glad you enjoyed it as much as I did.


  • Anne Marie
    May 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was a realyl beautiful piece. The words painted pictures in my mind.
    My favourite lines were:
    "Pink and purple hues
    shine through impending twilight
    glorious is nature’s night
    each sunset unique"

    Good job, keep on writing

    Anne-Marie

    • freespirit51
      May 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Anne for your wonderful comment. I am glad you enjoyed it. I enjoyed the challenge of writing it as well.


  • zeeeno
    May 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    wonderful

    have you ever heard of the phrase "painting with words"? great job


    • freespirit51
      May 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thanks sio much for your wonderful words. I am glad you enjoyed it. I enjoyed writing it as well.


  • storiesuntold gold member
    May 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    I love sunsets and yes each has its on way of coloring the days end .


    • freespirit51
      May 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much for your kind comment. I enjoyed writing it as well.


  • sassylilpoet silver member
    May 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Great style, loved it

  • OurxBeginning
    May 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is simply beautiful. I loved it, the imagery just..really stayed within my mind. Sunsets are so beautiful, nature itself is like magic. I truly enjoyed this, and the picture fit perfectly too. Great piece and good luck to you. ~ ~


    • freespirit51
      May 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Miraculous for your kind words. I am glad you enjoyed the piece. I love new challenges.


  • jacieluves 20you
    May 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow that is a great one to

1 - 24 of 24