Bitter prickles
send feathers tracing
my skin.
The golden warmth
was shaded by grey sponges,
gently squeezed by
Mother Nature.
I sneezed and she tittered,
“today there is no hot water.”
In a list
A contest entry
- Titles by Samplette.
800 points, ended May 20, 2007, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This was very good ... At first I read "pickles" and for the life of me I couln't figure out what this poem was about ... which caused the second read, and then I was pleasantly pleased. I admire those you can use metaphors seemingly without trial.
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A very "Hot" piece of poetry. Very subtle and well written. I enjoyed the read. Thank you for entering the contest.
Sam
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First impression: No hot water in the bathroom. Boy, was I so wrong.
I like the second stanza the best. Clever writing is at work here. Grey sponges to describe clouds...very original. Then they will be squeezed...it will rain.
The ideas in a short poem are more solid compared to longer poems and this one is no exception. A description of a rainy day leading up to the end with "no hot water today". Nice write and keep on writing!
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'gray sponges' for clouds is brilliant... original
these short poems get to me... i so stink at them
loved this
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heheh. 'shaded by grey sponges/gently squeezed/by mother nature'
how good is that? Great to me. A lovely gently humorous poem, and I love how you get an answer at the end.
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wow
This was beautiful! Short will some much said! Thanx for sharing. -
Very light and intriguing! I enjoyed this most definitely as it painted such a delicate picture inside my mind.
-animated ♥
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