Thunder drummed its way across the sky
The wind, a unstoppable force with purpose and drive
A blinding flash scorches the dark clouds
Enlightening everything and stealing its sound
Energy is stealing the air
Like it would stop time if it was dared
The air is so thick it seems to grab you
Demanding your attention, with no intention of stopping soon
Respect transforms to fear.
Its tremendous force is all you can hear.
Panic sets in, and you try to run
But its you it wants, your heart starts pounding like a drum
You need to escape and hide
Before it finds a way inside.
The storm is not what it seems
It will take you if you let it be more than a dream
In a list
A contest entry
- Make Me Love You [show me your best] by thelovesongwriter.
800 points, ended July 29, 2007, 73 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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:)
I like dark.
Some one these lines seem to have an awesome flow to them. Esp the first few.
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Oh My!!
Now this grabs and shake the reader to listen
What images Hot Momma!!
The air is so thick it seems to grab you
Demanding your attention, with no intention of stopping soon
Love the rhyme too~~
Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet One
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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a scary & frightening write. great job
good luck&thanks for entering
-lovesong -
A heavy write
as a guy that deals with nightmares i can visulize this scene. scary but powerful. Dark but alive. Great job
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This is a very well thought out piece with a lot of very striking imagery. I love the weather theme that runs smoothly throughout the intire poem. And it held my attention right to the end. Well done and good luck in my contest.
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Hey thanks for entering! I like the thunderstorm theme!
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It had a nice rhyme to and a wonderful detailed refernce to a thunder storm. wonderful poem and thanks for entering
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Very good storm reference. I like the feel of this poem. Great emotion and imagery. Good job with this. And thanks for the commenting!
♥AllYoullNeverHave
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nice write, great imagery and use of vocabulary, could feel the emotions in it too, well done thanks for entering and liked these line here
A blinding flash scorches the dark clouds
Enlightening everything and stealing its sound
Energy is stealing the air
Like it would stop time if it was dared
i like stopping time it would be cool - Jacen an IndividualEleven. -
That was nice you capturesd the moment. nice structure to this poem.
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storms can do that. you become more aware of life in a storm. you have some very good lines here. this was easily read. nice job.
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storms are good, they can be great to watch, aye they can be like our lives at times, we are blown about often i think. a good poem. some spelling errors i noticed which i have noted below.
drumed - drummed / a unstopable - an unstoppable / Enlighting everthing - Enlightening everything
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