The man looked upon her face,
Never wanting to look away.
They had woken up this morning,
To greet the brand new day.
He slowly sat into a chair,
With her following behind.
They sat and watched the morning sun,
As the reds and yellows aligned.
He loved this woman with all his heart.
He knew that he always would.
He cherished her with every breath.
He tried to love her as he should.
Based upon the calendar,
They had lived a long, full life.
But it seemed like only yesterday,
When he had first met his wife.
They had only been seventeen then,
And he had worked at a grocery store.
He had been putting out the apples,
When a red-haired goddess walked through the door.
There were tears sliding down her face.
She had looked alone and lost.
She had walked by him and had softly asked,
"How much does a sandwhich cost?"
He took her to the deli,
And helped her find her way.
They had now been together,
Ever since that day.
He never wanted to leave her,
But he knew the time was coming soon,
When God would up and take him,
To heaven near the moon.
He tightened her in his embrace,
And kissed her softly on the cheek.
They had been together for seventy years,
Yet it seemed only like a week.
Author notes
(Hate and Lies)
Their time together might be as fleeting as a shadow or as short as a dream, lasting only as long as it takes a lightning bolt to flash across the sky.
(Prompt/Inspiration)
A contest entry
- All that Love Encompasses... by Rianna Bear.
450 points, ended May 22, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - O.o Anything Goes o.O by vampireblood.
430 points, ended May 26, 2007, 76 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
-
Portrayed a very strong emotion on love. Reminds us that we should spend quality time with the one we love most, and relish each moment with them. Very touching poem.
-
-
Thank you so much for the comment! I'm so pleased that you liked it!!
~Mon Amour Ange
-
-
EXCELLENT!
What I liked:
Wonderful poem. I loved the theme and ideas it was based on, and, most of all, there was nothing wrong with the rhyming. The meter and rhythm were perfect, and I can see nothing to change. You certainly did an awesome job on this one as this is the third great piece I've seen all month.
Suggestions for Improvement:
-None, of course.
Overall Impression:
Thank you for posting this piece! I enjoyed every bit of it, and am sure that others will, too. The font color, word choice (vocabulary), and background theme also helped convey your message and make it even clearer.
~HaloElite
PS: Please check out my two poems "The Cockroach" and "Hadrian's Wall"! They're the first poems I've ever written. I am, unfortunately, not a very experienced poet myself. -
-
Thank you so much for the wonderful comment! I'm so pleased that you like it so very much! I will definitley check out your poems and make sure to comment on them!
~Mon Amour Ange
-
-
wow, i hope we are that happy when me and my girl are older....jees...makes me kinda jelous even is this isnt inspired by real life....i can only hope... and work towards it...i love my liz...
-
-
This poem sadly isn't inspired by real life, but it is something that I hope, once I have a husband, will come to pass after many wonderful and loving years together. I wish you the best of luck and love in your relationship with your Liz! I hope that one day in many years that ya'll are ablt to sit out on your front porch, softly embracing each other, and be able to relive all of the wonderful days that y'all have had together, and yet, still be in as much love then as you are now!
Peace,
~Mon Amou Ange
-
-
aww, wow. thats such an awsome poem!!! it tells a lovely story, you did a great job on it =)
-
-
Thank you so much! I'm so glad that you like it!
~Mon Amour Ange
-
-
This is simply magical. Your word choice is brilliantly amazing, kudos to you!
-animated ♥ -
-
Thank you so much for your comment! I'm so very pleased that you like it!
~Mon Amour Ange
-
-
You are more than welcome.
-
-
-
Wow. I haven't read any of the other entries in this contest, so I guess I really shouldn't say, but this has got to have a very good chance in that contest. It's incredible! Your rhyme is absolutely flawless and the write kept me interested through every last word. The fourth stanza is a true gem--I've tried to find words to say what you said there beautifully and I have no doubt that many many others have as well, but you found it. Beautifully said. It's perfect. Great write. I hope you'll enter my next contest. When I finally get it up and going (first I've got to finish these classes) I'll try to message you. Best wishes to you. Thanks for sharing. Take care.
-
-
Thank you so much for the beautiful comment! I'm so glad that you liked it! That would be great if you could message me, I would love to enter your contest!
Peace,
~Mon Amour Ange
-
-
nice!
that was a neat way of looking at the prompt...a love so great feels like it went by too fast. I can definitely agree w/that analogy! i loved your line: "They sat and watched the morning sun,
As the reds and yellows aligned." -what a beautiful image you placed in my mind. thanks so much for your entry!
Rianna
-
-
Thank you so much for commenting on it! I'm so glad that you liked it!
~Mon Amour Ange
-
-
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.....I'm SO DELIGHTED to be the first person to comment this poem. It was simply breathtaking. I can't tell you how much i loved it, words could never sum it up. I hope someday I have a love like that, that lasts that long.....the flow in this and rhyme as well was absolutely perfect.....amazing job, and best wishes in the contest!
-
-
I am so pleased that you liked it so much! Thank you so much for taking the time to comment on it! Thanks also for the best wishes in the contest! I hope that you are able to have a love like that, I hope I can find love like that too. lol. Thanks again for commenting.
~Mon Amour Ange
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 17 of 17
