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My Life as a Pin

Missing image
My life as a pin,
where do I begin
to tell you my story?
For it's rather gory.

Butch is a glutton,
pops many a button.
So he keeps me handy
right next to his candy.

Swiss chocolate of course,
chomps on like a horse
and he will not stop
'til button goes "pop".

From pocket I'm taken,
inhales till he's shakin'.
Pulls pants waist together.
Why does he wear leather?

"That hurts!" I remark.
"Close now!" is his bark.
This buffoon has no clue
what I long to do.

A surgeon's finesse
might shrink belly best,
but to flatten his gut
I'd pin his mouth shut!

Author notes

Apparently this guy has never heard of pants with elastic waists!

F R E E D ~ B Y ~ M E R C Y

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • XxNinjaNemoxX
    August 7

    Edit | Reply
    Oh I love this
    It was hilarious
    Poor pin *giggles*
    Buy him elasticated pants for christmas!
    Thanks for entering and best of luck
    xoxo.


  • MessOfADreamer
    July 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This was fun, although you have some punctuation issues here and there. Thanks for entering!


  • PrettyRagDoll
    August 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh I just loved this. Usually I am not a fan of rhyming poems because I feel most are forced, but this poem just flowed so nicely. Thank you for giving me such a humorous poem! You did a wonderful job giving the pin a personality. Thank you for entering my contest.
    -MommyBea


  • Kimojuno
    July 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The poem overall has a rather comedic tone, but I rather like the following most of all:

    "That hurts! I remark.
    Close now! is his bark.
    This buffoon has no clue
    what I long to do.

    Zippers work better
    to follow law's letter,
    but to lessen his gut
    I'd pin his mouth shut!"

    It works and fit the option perfectly, good call, and thank you for entering. I appreciate it.

    To be honest though, I wasn't sure at first if it would fit, especially since it was called "My Life as a Pin", but it works and I really do like it! Great going. ^-^;


  • nilav
    July 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i liked this and enjoyed very much...


  • nichtmich silver member
    June 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Adorable

    This is very funny and, truth be told, I need to pin my own mouth shut! Your aabb rhyme scheme keeps the words snappy like a jingle, it just moves right along. The only thing that I stumbled on was line #10, maybe "chomps on 'it' like a horse" or maybe 'chomped on', IMO ONLY. This is good, thanks for the giggle!

    • Freed by Mercy silver member
      June 28, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the comment, and for noting your opinion. I really appreciate that small correction. After reading the poem a couple of times, I decided you were correct, and changed it to "chomps on it".


  • Sam-I-Am
    June 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    pretty cool, I liked this, well done and good luck


  • Recluse Writer gold member
    May 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Great ending to this tale. You certainly got right to the point
    Congratulations on the HM
    Linda


  • passim silver member
    May 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a really great poem. I love the last stanza and last line. Ouch. Even the authors comment made me smile. Thank you so much for entering my contest.
    Pat


    • Freed by Mercy silver member
      May 18, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      You're welcome. Thanks for running a contest where funny can shine! This was a well thought out contest!


  • penman gold member
    May 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Very creative and great rhyme. Really is so terrific. Good luck in the contest.


  • Wayne Leon Learmond
    May 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Brilliant piece

    Hahahahahah. This is brilliant. I love the flow and the rhyme here. This is all written tongue-in-cheek. Wonderful metaphors being played here as well. The imagery is really good. I enjoyed this one.

    Wayne


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    May 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hehe Oh how wonderful. Your great sense of humour once again shines in this write! Loved it all and did feel so sorry for that poor pin Excellent rhyme, as always, too!
    All the best to you in this contest
    Gaylene

1 - 16 of 16