Beneath the light and warmth
Of the blazing sun afar,
Catching pure Love
From that star amongst the stars.
Fibrous feet firm
Within this spinning Earth,
Tiny toes sipping sustenance;
Day and night, death and rebirth...
Standing in the midst of time
Balanced within Life,
Doing just this work of growth;
Unknown are fear and strife.
Dancing free on summer breeze,
Abloom in sweet release,
With naught to be but what I am...
A radiant song of peace.
Author notes
It's been here before and like the Spring it returns. And for those who know, it never leaves...
photo "Daisy Mandala" by marion mantel aka maa
A contest entry
- Rhyme Time by Danna Hobart.
375 points, ended October 12, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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What a JOYOUS song !
Makes me happy...
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Because I got so many entries, I am going to judge this a little different than I normally do. On the contest page the challenge was to write a rhyming poem that shows instead of tells, with imagery and metaphor galore. In addition to those things, I am going to take the meter and rhythm into account along with originality. So I am going to award points for each of those things and then sort of tally them at the end to decide on the winners.
Show vs. Tell: 40/100
Concrete Images: 40/100
Metaphor/Simile/Allusion: 70/100
Originality: 80/100
Meter: 95/100
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The last verse is a show-stopper, it describes how I want to feel each moment. How beautiful this gifted piece.
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Thanks, Star Shine
If you want that feeling, then all you have to do is simply be yourself and shine on brightly....
Peace and blessings, Rahad
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Lovely. So heartwarming to hear voices raised in praise of the simple. Taking time out to feel and appreciate all we're being given. Hearing this pleases my heart dear Rod. I'm glad everthing is so well with you. Love Tara
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Thanks Tara. As mentioned below, this is a resurrection of an old posting, perhaps fitting for the spring that is now here. I'm very glad this touches your heart and hopefully brings an eternal rebirth.
Be ever bright and blessed, Rahad
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Delightful
Just wonderful, Rahad, a little dance of joy in the shape of a poem. Your personification or metaphor brings us into the simplicity that life can be. Lovely rhyming.
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Thanks, Margaret. This is a repost that I intended to place in a contest but decided it didn't fit. Perhaps it will be an inspiration for me to start writing and posting some new work.
Peace and blessings,Rahad
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