it was one of those times
when time
isn't there --
like when the rain falls
on your blank face
as you stare up into
a cloud's laser beams
on a damned tuesday
when they said it would be sunny
and he said he loved you
but it was his fault, not yours.
(he swore)
like when they told you
there was nothing they could do
and how funny it was
that fate is so inevitable --
ha-ha...
like when you touched a stranger
for the first time,
a woman for the first time,
and then you voted democrat.
when you held your breath
in anticipation
of reading those results --
negative.
it was was of those times
when life
isn't there
and you smile
because you love
to hate
to be alone.
A contest entry
- Anything You Want: Free Verse by Nicole Hanna.
300 points, ended May 5, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
You used "like" a lot to lead into your metaphors, which isn't a bad thing, really, but felt a little heavy in the middle of your poem. Ironically enough, though, those were the images I related to the most. Especially the lines "on a damned tuesday when they said it would be sunny". Oh damn skippy... I've felt like that more times than I care to count. Mucho thanks for entering
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