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Essence of Death

Feeling like falling in love
again and again with this earth.
Feeling like I am trying hard to open my eyes
feeling like I am reaching to my desired destiny
feeling like I am shrinking my body from His presence.
Feeling like I am going to end all my relations;

Feeling like all reasons become true

more than me, more than you. 

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Beautiful-N-Broken gold member
    February 24

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    Great write! I love this. You are a wonderful writer and this is another amazing write! Major Kudos on this friend.


  • Romily
    February 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks


  • Perception
    February 12, 2008
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    Good write you got here... Beautifully penned


  • Romily
    January 9, 2008
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    O pretty pretty friend
    take my pretty pretty pretty hug

  • Leaving Today
    October 4, 2007
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    o pretty pretty girl.....pretty poem lol, didnt read this before!


  • eternalpoet
    July 19, 2007

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    3 Stars ***

    Ahaa, death. Quite mystique it is sometimes. I liked the climax of the poem, the repitition adds to the visualization and imagery of the poem. Was just roaming around in AP and stumbled on your page and thought to rather read your works.

    Nice write, good work. Thanks for sharing.

    Take cares and have anice time. Just keep it up. Your humble little friend - Vic ( who else? )


  • zimzam
    May 13, 2007
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    yups your poem is good, and you look really pretty ....


  • Tercil gold member
    May 6, 2007
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    Tip top write

    Sounds like someone is still searching for something that at the mintute cannot be found. The yearning is selfless and the impending ache covers a distance of time that can in fact be measured. The shrinking my body from His presence I hope is not lost Faith. Lovely work!


  • Venugopal gold member
    May 5, 2007
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    Your feelings are expressed very well through this poem. Good luck in the contest.


  • Romily
    May 5, 2007
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    thank you so much.

  • Diatribes
    May 4, 2007
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    Love and faith, how much either hurts to be possessed of.

  • Romily
    May 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    hmm, thank you, though I am not a fan of center alinging, but left align doesn't look good for this poem,...anyways I have aligned them in left....LOL..thanks for your comment.

  • Nicole Hanna
    May 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This was beautiful. Not a big fan of center alignment, nor the repetition of the word "feeling" (at least not in every line), but the first two and final two lines were breathtaking, especially with the nice rhyme at the end. Very nice, and many thanks for entering

1 - 13 of 13