THE BRUISES WERE NEVER ENOUGH
NO, YOU SEE, HE WANTED SCREAMS
HE WANTED BLOOD.
I LIED TO EVERYONE MAKING EXCUSES
FOR EACH TIME HE HIT ME.
WHILE TRYING TO COVER THE BRUISES
THAT SHOWED
AND TRYING TO COVER THE ONES
THAT DIDN'T!
BUT WHEN I WAS LIEING I DIDN'T REALIZE
I WAS LOSING EVERYTHING!
YOU SEE THE BRUISES HE LEFT WERE NEVER SATISFYING ENOUGH FOR HIM
HE HAD TO HEAR ME SCREAM
HE HAD TO SEE ME BLEED…
I HAD A SMILE ON EVERYDAY THOUGH,
SEE I DIDN'T WANT THE ATTENTION FROM OTHERS
I WANTED TO BE FREE,
I WANTED THE NIGHTMARES TO STOP,
AND I DIDN'T WANT TO FLINCH WHENEVER
SOMEONE RAISE THEIR HAND AROUND ME.
MY LIFE WAS SPIRALING AND I COULDN'T CONTROL IT.
I FELT LIKE MY LIFE WAS PASSING BY ME AND
I WAS WATCHING FROM A DISTANT WINDOW.
I THINK THAT'S WHEN I STARTED BLEEDING MORE,
FROM MYSELF THEN FROM HIM.
AND SOON MY FRIENDS STARTED BECOMING ENEMIES,
TALKING BEHIND MY BACK
AND SOON TE RUMORS SPREAD LIKE A FOREST FIRE!
BUT I DIDN'T DENY ANY OF IT BECAUSE IT WOULD
HURT MORE TELLING THE TRUTH
THEN DEALING WITH THE LOOKS PEOPLE GAVE ME.
I SAW GUIDANCE COUNSLERS, THERAPISTS, AND PSCHYOLOGISTS,
BUT NONE OF THEM HELPED,
THE PAIN WAS STILL THERE,
AND THE WOUNDS ONLY GOT DEEPER
AND SOON I EVEN LOST MY BEST FRIEND
BECAUSE I COULDN'T STOP LIEING
AND SHE NEVER EVENED ASKED
IF THE BRUISES WERE FROM HIM
'DID SHE EVEN NOTICE?'
AND SOON WITH NO ONE TO TALK TO
NO ONE TO CONFIDE IN
I LOST THE WILL-POWER
TO FIGHT BACK
I LOST THE WILL-POWER
TO LIVE!
BRUISES WERE WHAT COVER MY BODY
INSIDE AND OUT
ALONG WITH THE EXCRUCIATINGLY
DELICATE PAPER CUTS
MADE BY MY OWN HAND.
YOU SEE WHEN I LOST MY BEST FRIEND
MY WORLD FELL APART BECAUSE
SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO DIDN'T
JUDGE ME BUT WHAT OTHERS SAID.
AND WHEN I LOST HER
I HAD NOTHING!
AND SO I STOPPED FIGHTING BACK
CAUSE I DIDN'T SEE A POINT.
MY "FRIENDS" HAD ALL DESERTED ME
SECRETLY TALKING BEHIND MY BACK
AND NO ONE EVER NOTICED THAT I WAS
SLOWLY FADING AWAY!
MY DAYS BECAME ROUTINE-LIKE AND
MY NIGHTS WERE FULL OF NIGHTMARES,
THAT ALWAYS LEFT ME IN A COLD SWEAT.
BUT I PUT UP WITH IT UNTIL ONE DAY HE TOOK
AWAY SOMETHING I COULD NEVER GET BACK!
MY INNOCENCE OR WHAT WAS LEFT OD IT
WAS TAKEN FROM ME WITH A SMILE,
AND HE LAUGHED AS I SCREAMED NO!
AND JUST LIKE THAT MY WORLD WAS
FLIPPED UPSIDE DOWN.
AND I FOUGHT BACK. I STOPPED SEEING HIM
I STOPPED TALKING TO HIM .
BUT YOU SEE TO ME I WAS ALWAYS TOO LATE.
HE HAD TAKEN THE ONE THING I COULD CALL MY OWN.
THE ONE THING I COULD HOLD ON TO.
HE TOOK EVERYTHING I HAD AWAY FROM ME!
Author notes
HE KILLED ME
Corrupt my soul
A contest entry
- Insane? or just nervous? by Death4Hire13.
390 points, ended June 7, 2007, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Entrapment by babi.
800 points, ended June 11, 2007, 26 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show Me Your Darkside by AshesFromFire.
700 points, ended June 14, 2007, 112 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darker Than The Abyss by DancingShadowCorpse.
900 points, ended September 20, 2007, 91 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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*tear* so sad. that's all I can say! Nice job! good luck!
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here's the applause.
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WHEN I WAS LIEING I DIDN'T REALIZE
I WAS LOSING EVERYTHING!
Absolutely brilliant line- so true about lying in anyway shape or form for any reason- excellent.
MY LIFE WAS PASSING BY ME AND
I WAS WATCHING FROM A DISTANT WINDOW.
I feel like this everyday!!!
SOON MY FRIENDS STARTED BECOMING ENEMIES,
TALKING BEHIND MY BACK
This means they were never your friends in the first place. Abuse takes many forms, and often society revictimizes the abuse victim. They blame them for being different never questioning or caring why. In my case I hate society much more than I hate my abuser- because so called 'good' people proved themselves to be just as bad, just more socially 'controlled'. As in your example:
DEALING WITH THE LOOKS PEOPLE GAVE ME. Don't you see that the people who gave you 'looks' are just as bad as your abuser, no matter who they actually are in society- no matter what role they play?
I LOST THE WILL-POWER
TO FIGHT BACK
I LOST THE WILL-POWER
TO LIVE!
The next step after this is Stockholm syndrom- I know.
Wow, your last stanza was so powerful that I can't even express it. This is so desrving of the gold- with that last part, you completely changed the tone of the poem, and brought the reader to your side in a way I can't describe. This really is an amazing write
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awwww so very sad. There are no words to describe how abuse affects us, but you have captured it all beautifully, this poem is so powerful! Really makes you think, brought a tear to my eye, absolutely flawless! At first, i thought that the way you have used capital letters throughout was unusual, but after reading the poem i can see it fits and is appropriate, enforcing the words at the reader they jump out at you. I could feel the emotion in this piece, it tells a story, a story of defeat, suffering, pain, hurt, betrayal and all hope lost, i'm truely touched and moved by it. I loved everything about this poem, granted it is dark and dispairing but perfectly written. Oh and these so called friends are not now, nor have they ever been true friends, you are not alone, you will find a friend again, who won't judge and who will listen and be there for you as a friend should, you'll get through, you are stronger than you know. Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest babi xxx
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feelings of unreality and abuse are never good. I know because well, I can relate. My mother was in this situation many a time. I liked the flow, and the fact that the message was brutally clear. Good luck in my contest!
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Was this you? I hope not. No one should ever have to feel this pain. If it is you keep fighting. If your friend does not listen tell some one else. Great write. "Lost I am for he is still here and hurting me comes his evil grins every night." When I read this I was scared. Great write.
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aww this is so sad
but it is very well writen and has lots of emotion
you made a tear come to my eye
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