Wondrous skies in evening fog
call lullabies through
muted horns
while piercing loneliness on wings
bids goodbye to another day.
The vast blanket ahead unseen
only to sing wider across my horizon,
I fly on toes touching trembling shores
of wetted sands.
Seduced by serenades of humble grasses
kneeling under gentle breaths
I depart into the tide and reach
euphoria.
Author notes
Theme: Dusk Poetry
by Kiusha
A contest entry
- Truth Of Life contest round THREE (invite only) by xandercheerios.
1000 points, ended July 31, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Shoot, I have a good doctor
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Ok, maybe this is a little unfair to the other writers, but because you have already gotten a gold and silver in these rounds, I re-read this poem 4 times. The first read, I wasn't really impressed, nothing was just catching my attention and holding it. But reading through it the 5th time, I saw the deep beauty within the poem. Some rhymes within the lines, and your sparse use of alliteration definitely helped me to judge it higher. Sucks for everyone else, who really only gets one, maybe two reads for my judging, but hey, I never said I was fair. I expect, however, similar results as the first two rounds in the next one... so wait until the contest is started before you try anything. Good luck.
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Euphoria is a good place to reach - liked the flow and the brevity of these lines- easy to read and understand the sentiments you are describing here. Liked the line call lullabies through muted horns.
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I really liked the imagery in this and your use of adjectives was superb (muted horns...piercing loneliness...trembling shores were all really good)
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Excellent
Very well expressed. And congratulations on the Honorable mention.
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This is an accomplished piece of writing which whispers of the soft sea. I enjoyed this very much - thank you! Stephanie x
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Nice!
This is a very lovely piece- full of wonderful imagery and sweet, soft poetry. The feeling that washes over me as I read this poem is very nearly euphoria. This is just simply beautiful.
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oh ther soft "s" of sighs....such lovely poetry...
"Seduced by serenades of humble grasses
kneeling under gentle breaths
I depart into the tide and reach
euphoria. "
I love the sounds and images in this.... my my, awesome.
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