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Z3

Can you see my tears form in black?
Can you see happiness is what I lack?
This is my life by misery it runs
Until my final breath is done

Blood running, head spinning
Trying to forget my satanic sinning
Watching me mask all my mistakes
Trying to judge real from fake

Close your eyes try to visualize
I warned you; the things I am aren’t realized
My world is hidden in black covers
No light do I ever wish to recover

Blood running, head spinning
Trying to forget my satanic sinning
My body is weaker than before
This pain, oh god throw me more

Giving me my blessed kiss
Oh what a sensational bliss
A hug and a kiss to sooth my hurting
Lighting, allowing the tortured burning
As soft to me as my final breath
That's helped to put my helpless body to rest

Blood drops from my hands
Leaving blood drops where I stand
My blood is running as you see
Still i hold at the knees
Head spinning even more
Hold my ground till I'm to sore

My satanic sinning is still here
Saying sweetly "I love you dear"
I'm not capable of ending my pain
'Cause I know it's all that keeps me sane

Author notes

Weirdness based on my life.. Writting helps cope

corrupt my soul

(\ /)
(O.o)
(>" <---
/_|_\

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • coffeeangel316
    July 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think this is very deserving of a gold. congrats daughter. this is so good. I like the flow and detailed description. great write.


    • NickelleteXninja
      July 15, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      it was a very sad time though... it came out good and i did get a gold and honorable mention for it which is better than nothing thank you though mom your words are always so kind and great to hear


  • Angel of Musik
    June 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is very well done. I liked the way you only repeated half a stanza and changed the other half instead of repeating the entire thing.

    Blood running, head spinning
    Trying to forget my satanic sinning
    My body is weaker than before
    This pain, oh god throw me more

    I liked this particular part the best.

    Thanks for entering.


  • Death4Hire13
    June 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Bunny corrupts all...
    Anyways, nicely done. I thinkg I used to feel this way, but it's spun out of control, and I can't remember what was real, or just a dream, so , yeah, I can relate. I really liked the part:
    This pain, oh god throw me more.
    It's just that to most people, pain is the last thing you would want, but to some it helps to cope. I like the rhythm, and it rhymed well. Again, nicely done. Good luck in my contest.


  • AshesFromFire
    May 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "trying to forget my satanic sinning" man that is a great line! The flow in this poem was undeniably perfect! This is amazing! Be proud of this poem! Good Job! Good Luck!


  • XHollowXEyesX
    May 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow this is truly an expressive write, very dark and twisted yet depressing and painful at the same time. , even though the rhyming scheme was 'heavy' you managed to make it flow beautifully and upbeat.
    awesome write.
    thanks for entering and goodluck


  • RedAquarius
    May 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This could be a song, has a smooth flow, good lyrical feel. Writing is good therapy I've found (for me) - I hope it works for you, as well.


  • CherylAnn
    May 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Awwww

    This is dark yet sad at the same time.You have captured the torment and placed it clearly within your write.A clear picture of a tormented soul.Tortured deeply within the mind.I hope that the writing really does help you to cope.
    Blessings
    ~Cheryl~

1 - 8 of 8