Debating

I'm sitting in the bathroom,
with pain relief pills in my hand.
i'm wondering if I should take them,
fall instead of stand.

I pour them out of the bottle,
study them hard.
Debating my death
To live or die either way i'm scarred

I take four quickly,
as tears run down my cheek,
looking at the reflection in the mirror,
at the unforgivingly weak.

Eyes are red,
debating to take more,
To go down
and fall lifeless to the floor.

I run my hand through them
and get down on my knees,
crawl in a ball, rocking back and forth,
trying to put my self at ease.

I manage to stand up,
and get eyeliner,
writing a final message on the mirror,
for when they find me.

I debated long and hard
coming to the conclusion
Many more decisions will occur in life
But I don't know when or if I'll be
The one to end my strife.