I breathed a dream last summer
On little fairy wisps
A lone dandelion spread apart
And flew with one gentle kiss
I shut my eyes real tight that day
And I thought really hard
I wish I might, I wish I may
…. The entire flighty lark
And just yesterday I walked along
With you arm in arm
To notice something was watching us
Much to my alarm
And there, bowing, dancing and scattering round,
a summer snowdrift in a spiral of light
Was a field, of bursting fluffy white heads
Singing to us in delight
And I kissed you, and kissed you, and kissed you again
As the dancers applauded above
For as I breathed my wish into them
I was granted with my very first love
Author notes
"If I ship my heart out to sea, will you love me? Will you love me?
And why?....because i love him and he's everything i wished for and recieved. I am grateful.
In a list
A contest entry
- Why? 'Cause I'm in love. by Whispered Secrets.
550 points, ended May 14, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Remind Me of the One I Love by Dlvvanzor.
1200 points, ended October 16, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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AW! That's so cute! Great write, that's adorable.
Thanks for entering and the best of luck,
-Dlvvanzor -
Wow this is great i love the last stanza.
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Sometimes, even in our worst times, all we need is a great guy, wouldn't you agree? Sometimes the smallest thing can make you happy and the smallest whisper in you ear will make the world seem so bright.
<333
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Good title. It drew me in instantly.
Punctuation would help a lot. Especially in stanza two, so that it's easier to understand what your thought was. The third and forth line or just the third? I deduced just the third after reading over it again.
The imagery is rather blissful and suits the poem well.
Good job. I liked this -
oh, i loved this, really lifted me off my feet, and by the last stanza i wished i was the girl
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I was listening to Garth Brooks while reading this and that just deepened the feelings in this piece for me. This is so beautiful and I could see the scenery before me while reading these words.
There are a few points where the flow didn't really work for me, but they were just minor in my opinion and mainly the flow was good and the rhyming as well. I like this one a lot, the deep emotions in it, and that's why this is one of the best pieces I've read today.
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this is very sensual poem i loved it thankyou for sharing
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