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Belts






The dogs raced through
small town roads.
It was over in seconds.

The winner's circle
wasn't much more
than a crowded lunch table.


A few years later,
ants are still crawling
to the leftovers,

and the last lonely lush.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Proper grammar, just for you Will.

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • -Ink Artist-
    May 8, 2007

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    Well Shirl, you always have the knack of giving your work an edge that leaves the reader to their own personal interpretation and this is no different. I see the progression of the alcoholic but then again, I see a parallel of teen clique. Just my thoughts! It's wonderful to read something from you again, darling! You've been missed here!


    ~Lori


  • ronnica
    May 8, 2007

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    I liked it, as we have dog racing here, first I have read on the subject knowing that I could interperate it in many ways, and that is what is good about it,

  • deleteit
    May 6, 2007

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    I am not quite sure of the true meaning behind the words but I personally got the picture of greed taking over and those left behind living with the remnants of deceptions defeat. Just my first thoughts. Either way, this was great to read. I do enjoy writes that just leave it wide open to the imagination while drawing the reader in. Well written


  • Methusala
    May 5, 2007

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    I liked this. It had a nice flow, perfect form, but I'm not entirely sure what it's about. Care to enlighten this ignorant poet?

    ~DKR


  • Lady-Pegasus
    May 5, 2007

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    Interesting piece to be certain, nice flow to it although I was somewhat lost in the concept of it. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e


  • Rowan gold member
    May 3, 2007

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    I have to say, I liked this..but not sure really get this. It speaks to me, about the progression of drinking, but I think it needs just a little more to round it out.
    All in all, I still like it, regardless.
    Proper grammar, and all..lol..


    • SurelyWritten
      May 4, 2007
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      Yea, thats part of it.. I always leave my works very open.. Just how I write, but the drinking is evident in the last line... -Sigh. Glad you liked it. =D

      • Rowan gold member
        May 4, 2007
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        Poetry should always be open to interpretation..
        I more than liked this, I love poems that make you read it, read it again, and go hmmmm..what am i missing.


  • jacbgd2 gold member
    May 3, 2007

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    First impression is what you asked for from your readers, I usually do not give this... I need to read at least twice to get into the piece, but okay! Good poem.... in my opinion, it could use a little more of your what call, "essence" from within.... I liked the poem and the message, but I like to devior poetry and when I come away, I want to be completely satisfied with my feast....
    I read I got full but something is missing... this is just my feelings only no one elses.... but I did enjoy your pen....

  • Aurora Ceres
    May 3, 2007

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    This is actually very cleverly written! My folks live in Alaska so the first thing that came to mind foor me were dog sled races....such a clean, smooth read...with a very small town feel. Nicely done.


  • Melodies
    May 3, 2007

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    I read this twice and thought about it...

    And correct me if I am missing the plot, but is this about car racing and a guy getting killed and the girl surviving the crash? Drinking was involved? Your poetry is fabulous and smart and I respect your talent so much, precious one.

    Melodies Mum

    • SurelyWritten
      May 3, 2007
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      It isn't really about car racing, but it is about small town amusements and someone being left behind, I just used racing as a parallel past time. Your so sweet Mum. Love you

1 - 12 of 12