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Manufactured Friends

I think I know why you are so under-joyed
All of those colors disrupt your blank void
Well it's time to break that obsessed freedom craze
The outdoors are just so unnatural these days
How can you stand that hideous place?
That smile makes it look like there's dirt on your face
That joy in your heart looks like you're struck and battered
And those small sparks of hope make your clothes torn and tattered
Forget about all of the breaks and the bends
And buy yourself manufactured friends
Their brains are implanted with tracking devices
They may have no souls, but they sure are low prices!
It's time that you swing with a different crew
Trust me, these robots are better for you

You pace like a lion in it's cage
Your wants are so typically dense at this age
I know they don't look all that fun at a glance
But go on and make nice, just give them a chance!
Who could turn down those mechanical features?
These things are such helpful, obedient creatures
You may not be happy because they lack feeling,
Just like them for me, I find them appealing
Well, at least they've got pretty labels, you see?
They read "Made in Nazi Germany"

My dear, you never will improve
If they cannot monitor your every move
Right now is the time your identity ends
Go buy yourself manufactured friends
You can be one of us, and no longer a stray
Hurry up, 'cause they're going on sale today!
The package is not very heavy or large,
And if you call now they will be free of charge
They can fulfill your mechanical needs,
But look at the package, the disclaimer reads:
"These zombies remove all the colors from you,
So now you will be manufactured too"

Author notes

May 3, 2007... This poem is about my parents and how they metaphorically wish me to hang with "manufactured friends" because they hate the fact that I have individuality and want me to be robots like them. I've been told countless times I am forbidden to see the people I love to be with (especially my lesbian girlfriend) because my mother and father find them too "edgy" without even talking to them once. This poem is basically what they say to me all the time.

To Velvet Love--- I hope the blood has drained out of you and you now feel like a rotting empty shell. Your kitty is very pretty, and my name is Autumnsflame97.

[***OPTION 1*
Write a poem about the best damn thing or things in your life! Or the damn worst things. Either way.*

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • cali951
    November 3, 2007
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    wow this is a great poem

  • LeanneBridgewater
    October 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    great idea

    i love how you've wrote about this topic.. and it's not just an idea too it's real.

    I totally agree and understand this bit of life!
    It's something private.. good write
    nice and informatic - my afvourite part was the mention of colours and how thewy are soon to be drained out of you.. colours make me think of talent.

    you've got good language and you function it well

    my fav 3 parts were:

    1.'small sparks of hope make your clothes torn and tattered'

    2.'Forget about all of the breaks and the bends
    And buy yourself manufactured friends'

    3.'Their brains are implanted with tracking devices
    They may have no souls, but they sure are low prices'

    this was cleverly done, ta for entering.. and muchas good luck! xx take care

  • freestallion
    September 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was an interesting poem, and a unique way of phrasing your thoughts. Nice metaphors. However, rhyme is just not my thing. Thanks for entering my contest.

  • LadysDragon
    August 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting poem,and I dont agree with your parents on who you should hang with.Thank you and goodluck

  • Swan song gold member
    July 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very interesting poem it is well written a thougt out there is a lot to this and htanks for entering.


  • thelovesongwriter
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    That smile makes it look like there's dirt on your face"

    great poem! therefore i give you two smileys. i feel the same way about all those jerks called friends..good job!

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    June 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very nice write .I am sorry that your parents are this way you know it is hard to see the people that are susspose to love you treat you this way.Always be yourself you should not change for anyone be the person that you are and always love yourself. Love is Love xxxx Thank you for your entry best of luck to you


  • Ohriginality
    May 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    WOWW just wowwww.
    amazingly well written. it's so full of imagery and metaphors and i don't know what to do with myself!!
    i don't know what else to say...
    thanks for entering!!


  • ibsons hysops
    May 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Real and with Honost thoughts. Good Luck in the Contest!

  • poetryality silver member
    May 11, 2007

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    I really appreciate the word "under-joyed". Good use of language in this writ. There is a sense of freedom in your words, as if you have let go and allowed yourself to soar. Sometimes we must ignore those in authority if and only if it appears that they are leading us astray. I love the sentiments here. There is a sense of angst, as well there should be. I love your open-mindedness, in spite of your parent's wants. This is an excellent writ. It does not conform and that is a plus in my eyes. This work has earned its way into the finalists arena.

    Thank you ever so much for this stellar-rhyming conscientious work of poetry. I wish you well in life and this Comp.



    Much Love ♥

    Renee
  • OurxBeginning
    May 9, 2007

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    Wow..quite long but it's deep and impacting. Filled with imagery and it holds the reader's attention. Thanks for entering and good luck.

  • KissMeGoodnight
    May 7, 2007

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    holy FUCKING shit! oh my god! hOOOly! i mean jeeeeez! you caught me at the best possible time!
    'They read "Made in Nazi Germany"' i JUST finished writing a paper on jews and stuff! i mean i know that you said yours was about your parents annoyingness {hehe} but after that line all i could see was the prejudice towards that! and all gays and lesbians of the world! i might have seen a totally different picture, but you touched me.
    and oh yeah, i just saw myself in the mirror, im ghost white.

  • J McSANE
    May 5, 2007
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    kinda sounds like you aint had enough pain to get me sorry

    • AutumnsFlame
      May 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Whhhaattt who are you? What are we talking about? Your is random and has nothing to do with my poem.

      • AutumnsFlame
        May 5, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        Your COMMENT is random, sorry I skrewed up that sentance and I remember who you are now (even though you should've messaged me instead of commenting on my poem, which you made not a single remark about)...

        I ain't got enough pain to get you sorry, eh? Well I already told one of many sob stories, so lets hear yours (IM me this time, smart one!)
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