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Whisper My Name






Would you take my hand and whisper my name
If I could write for you the perfect rhyme
Changed by this love; I’ll never be the same

Would you listen to my heart’s breath proclaim
Counting each and every moment in time
Would you take my hand and whisper my name

Would you stay with me as I try to tame
This chaos that just plagues this life when I’m
Changed by this love; I’ll never be the same

Would you set me free; the trial of this game
When I hear your voice and twinkling bell’s chime
Would you take my hand and whisper my name

Would you entice me inside your soul’s frame
Bathe me in your light, forgiving my crime
Changed by this love; I’ll never be the same

Would you embrace me with your bright eye’s flame
Bring me your heaven, bring me the sublime
Would you take my hand and whisper my name
Changed by this love; I’ll never be the same





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Comments


  • Yemassee gold member
    May 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I see it as a beseeching, maybe to someone on the edge who the speaker isn't sure about his/her feelings. The title is intriguing, it's a humble request, but more that entreating that I mentioned above.

    Remember the old Johnny Cash and I think June Carter song, (maybe someone else sang it too) "If I were a carpenter and you were a lady, would you marry me anyway, would you have my baby." Something like that. That is how I see this, except maybe on slightly shakier ground...not quite so sure of the ground underneath the speaker.

    I'd say anyone with the power to change us ought to be chased and asked such questions of devotion.


    • evlclown
      May 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      The ground started shaky and not exactly secure, but so fast that it was almost unavoidable. But each new day has granted patience and an understanding that what is... is and it all feels right, so I'm not questioning, and enjoying it.

      Thank you Yem


  • MargaretG
    May 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Your villanelles are usually great, and once again you have written a fine one. I wonder about the last stanza, line 3, was that deliberate? The refrains follow on from what goes before, which is difficult to do, and you set a calm and slightly melancholic mood. Love does change the way we think about things - how good it is to have someone who will hold our hands.

    • evlclown
      May 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Hmmm... you know I missed that oops in the last stanza...
      must have been a cut and paste error... oh well I'm not perfect.
      Love has certainly changed ideas and beliefs lately, and obviously my exceptional computer skills as well...

      Thank you