She was just a child
meek and mild,
kind and giving,
left alone living
in the shame,
the sepia stain
of his devious smile.
Just a child,
so small and frail,
she tried to no avail.
No one ever
heard her cries
or heard his lies,
only Teddy knew.
Teddy listened.
The twist of the knob
when the sun sleeps
or
the slip of warmth
between her sheets.
The russet rage of his sin,
force of his hand,
against her face,
against her skin.
There was nothing
Teddy could do
when she screamed
“I hate you!”
Crying innocence
held captive,
forced to succumb
for him, for his friends,
forced to share,
but Teddy saw
what happened in that room
from the chair.
Teddy heard.
No escape from
terror's tyranny,
helpless,
hiding
under terra-cotta veil,
black and blue
was all she knew,
the colors of hatred’s hue.
Oh, but Teddy knew.
Author notes
Memories are a bitch. Having one of those days.
5. My favorite stuffed animal in the world is teddy bears. Write a poem about teddy bears!!
~*~*~*~Abuse~*~*~*~
this option is really a category. it can be any type of abuse, make it meaningful and emotional. if it is rape, please do not be too graphic but focus more on the emotions.
8) In your author's notes, put "Writing is my passion" so I know you've read the rules. If not, you're subject to being DQ'd.
put “everything I had is gone” in the author box. If you ignore this you will be DQ
4)Pain
5)Hurt
put “everything I had is gone” in the author box. If you ignore this you will be DQ
Image courtesy of deviantART.com
In a list
- ~Abuse • next in list
- ~Gold • next in list
- ~Silver • next in list
- ~Honorable Mentions • next in list
- ~Bronze • next in list
A contest entry
- Battle Of The Sexes (Invite Only) by Cupcrazy.
1500 points, ended May 9, 2007, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pain. Hit me with your best shot! by VaioXHailey.
300 points, ended June 8, 2007, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The pain that Kills us by SoftlyScreaming.
450 points, ended June 19, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Raven Qualifier - Dark: Anger, Angst and Goth by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 124 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Another day, another dream wasted... by Nicole Cudworth.
575 points, ended June 19, 2007, 20 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darkness, Let Me See Your Darkness by AshesFromFire.
700 points, ended July 21, 2007, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Trophies That Shine Group Contest! by Dead Hair.
450 points, ended July 4, 2007, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Fading Pictures With A Touch Of Memories by BarbedWireButterfly.
1200 points, ended August 3, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options. Come and look if you aren't too scared. by Cutie4eva.
1200 points, ended July 18, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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dearest lori,
I am so full of joy to see you win the bronze in this raven qualifier contest ... brava, my graceful sister ! my heart jumps with happiness and contentment, as if your success were my very own ... for it is !
love you bunches, my sweet one,
maa
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I loved the metaphor in this poem... the Teddy Bear so simple and loving of an object, used in such an intense and emotional poem. I loved the idea, and the flow and rhymes smoothed very well too. Awesome work.
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This is a heart wrenching peice I must say. It is one of those memories that you long to forget but can't. It is true though that stuffed animals may be fake but they do see what goes on. Well done. Best of luck to you in the contest.
xAngelx4xLife -
interesting. the use of a stuffed toy was very different in this poem. the imagery and emotion were good. thank you for entering and good luck.
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Chilling but captivating
I liked this poem a lot, mainly because it is very different from so many other poems of the same genre. Its from a different viewpoint, something that makes it unique. The reference to the teddy bear as the spectator is a wonderful idea. Chilling, haunting.
This is one of those poems that you cannot realy forget.
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Where most abuse poems tend to focus on the gore and hatred, yours really was captivating. The whole idea of the teddy bear hearing everything is really haunting, espeacially the last line. A wonderful poem!
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Your writing makes me want to cry! I really like this poem. If you wanted my attention you got it! Not to mention, held it with a iron fist. Amazing! Bravo!
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a write which will touch everyones soul when read, I know it did Mine. Too many Teddies, sadly without voice, see and hear so much of this, it's not worth thinking about. Your words although haunting are well placed and bring home the sad truth for so many. An excellent piece in it's own right, well done and congrats on the silver.
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The chills raced down my arms and a shiver tingled my spine as I read this deeply disturbing poem. It's amazing the things our teddies see... I am so sorry this had to happen to anyone,. I hope that writing this helped release a little bit of the pain that accompanies this kind of abuse.
Thank you for entering my contest and I wish you the best of luck in all you endeavor.
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Hmm... very Dark, I could feel the chills down my spine while reading through your poem. Very nicely done, the images, the sounds, the feel.. everything, is just perfect and all of these complement each other so well. The elements are described to the last detail, like "the terracotta veil".. lend a sense of reality to the work.
An honest write, it not just tingles the reader's head, but also, the heart. I am deeply moved by the quality of work you have turned in. It deserves a huge round of aplause, for the simplicity of the feelings. The short lines used indicate that the child was small when she had to deal with horror and pain of this magnitude.
The idea is so sad and unfortunate, that I can't really point out my favorite part... because it all moves me no end.
however, the most intense part, after reading which my tears betrayed my feelings was the one i quote below:
"There was nothing
Teddy could do
when she screamed
“I hate you!”"
Thank you so much for entering the Raven Qualifier and Good Luck!
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wow, just wow
this was incredible.. you took it deep from inside and shoved it out there for the world to see.. you had emotion, and rhyme.. i like rhyme.. anyways, you're a great writer and i'm not surprised you got gold on this.. great work, i really enjoyed reading it -
omg Lori this was SO beautiful in the saddest way possible it made me cry from the begining to the end this piece touches the soul and squeezes the heart.
It brings forth bitter memories as well if teddy bears could talk how many people would be shown as the liars they are nothing hurts as much as knowing the truth but having no one believe it because the other knows better and such. this was very relatable and well written it really touched my heart
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Tears flowing
This hurts to read, but it is necessary to convey. I know, if you read 'Troubled Waters'... Same shit different place. You expressed yourself eloquently here despite your abuse. Take care k? Warmly, Chrissy
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omfg this is the best one so far. Great great great wonderful amazing this could be a poem story or song!!!!! its great you have a great chance of winning!!
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That's horrible. Well, not the poem but the idea behind it. It was extremely well written. Good luck in my contest.
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Thank you for your entry. It was marked "abuse", so I couldn't read it (or judge my contest). But now that I have read it, I liked it a lot--so honest and sad.
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Excellent and heart rendering
Oh my this was so difficult to read in truth I had to stop reading at one point because it got so painful. It is true though and written in such a way because a teddy would see this. Having a little girl myself this was just too painful too read I hope you don't mind that I didn't read it all it was just too much for me. Like I say I got so far with it and then it was just too much but, it is an excellently written poem and I give you applause for this. I am not surprised you won honorable though saying this I would have given you gold because it is excellent.
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Awesome
I loved this piece, it tore at my heart for what was said and what was not said. The imagry is vibrant, the emotion heart rendering and exquisitedly sad. Thank you for this wonderful entry. Hugs, Bunny
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My first impression of this was somewhat soured by a line I thought too clichéd: "meek and mild". However, the more I read the more heartbroken I became. You've woven a painful account into a seemingly innocent piece, as though the child still walks in that gray space between pain and fantasy. The suffering is palpable more so because this is from memory. Very moving.
Sometimes it’s good to shake those skeletons. Helps us remember why we care so much for our own children.
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Very powerful, raw and emotional. Liked these kind best. Where it hits the reader right in the pit of their stomach, in theit heart too. Great way to tell this story through Teddy's eyes.
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wow that was a great write i liked it i thought it was good and i liked it how u used a simple teddy bear n made it so human like i have never writen anything like that i was sad but also mabe a true story keep writing theis great poems love to read more
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AWESOME!
The pain is something that will never go away but one often lets loose on their stuffed animals as they are there and they listen without saying anything in return.
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I have to echo Grendyl's pain and rage. What a horrid, unforgivable sin! Those who would molest a child should suffer immediate death! This was well written and agonizing.
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Oh shit sis, what have you penned here .. this really brings forward two emotions in me .. utter sadness and complete rage.
The sadness for ANYONE who has to suffer this abuse at the hands of people who are supposed to protect them.
The anger at the person doing this .. I want to rip their organs off and make them eat them, before I slowley slit thier throats with a very blunt blade.
I'll applaud you for having the courage to write this.
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If I can manage to provoke those kinds of feelings to my reader, than it's worth the pain when I write it! I'm having one of those days where it's all spilling out again. Thanks for all the love, my dear sweet brother!
~Lori
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wow
this was good man.... it's deep... -
deep
this has a good meaning and i find it very eye opening
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Lori,
I'm sorry but I just don't have the words to comment on this
I'm sorry....sooo very sorry
Been here myself...
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Thanks Bel...I've been doing great at steering away from these pieces, but for some reason, they're here today. Damn thoughts anyway! Thanks for the applause, my friend. Greatly appreciated.
~Lori -
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I know what it's like to steer clear of tham and I know what it's like on the days they steam roller you
If you ever need an ear or shoulder mine are always available to and for you hun
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I truly appreciate that!
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