dirty Pretty eats her hate
without the kiss she suffocates.
Dirty pretty rolls around,
she falls- falls- falls-
Down to the ground.
dirty Pretty drinks her Death.
She feels the breath leave from her chest.
Broken skies and broken dreams
she lifts her broken-
bloody Angel Wings.
dirty Pretty feels the dark,
an empty stomach, empty heart.
Within the cave she calls her shell,
she consumes nothing-
in thin beauty hell.
dirty Pretty hears the sound-
it’s many stories falling down.
She floats up in- to the sky,
she is running on nothing,
a hungry lullaby.
dirty Pretty scents the food,
her emotions hang in a downward groove.
Stepping away from the table-
she glares down through
the hunger-disabled.
dirty Pretty has no eyes,
she is everything we compromise.
Shattered images, broken vows-
she is the words-
we cannot allow.
dirty Pretty sits alone,
beneath streetlight's dim glow.
She waits for cars to come her way,
fucked in the dark,
she's forgotten the day.
dirty Pretty has starved herself,
placed up on the highest shelf.
she died the day that she let go,
pretty and empty-
dead on the snow.
Author notes
This is about eating disorders.
Also, option 12, I think.
x.one last fix.x
A contest entry
- Baby don't you know this ♥love♥ (is just between the sheets) by Exodus.
525 points, ended May 4, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - && all i want is... your best on the spot dirty pretty by over the rainbow--x.
525 points, ended May 10, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
'dirty Pretty has no eyes,
she is everything we compromise.
Shattered images, broken vows-
she is the words-
we cannot allow.
dirty Pretty sits alone,
beneath streetlight's dim glow.
She waits for cars to come her way,
fucked in the dark,
she's forgotten the day.
dirty Pretty has starved herself,
placed up on the highest shelf.
she died the day that she let go,
pretty and empty-
dead on the snow.'
loved those three last stanzas, great poem =]
however you've missed a phrase in your authors notes, i'd appreciate it if you could re-read the rules and send me a note or message i'd appreciate it so i can re-comment =] great poem and good luck in my contest =] -
This is... sad. Yet I can't help but find it almost... I don't know, numbing I guess. I'm not quite sure how to describe it unfortunately. I loved your use of repition, not only in the start of each stanza but through out it. It worked beautifully.
I'm not sure how this relates to option 12 though I'm afraid. Perhaps it would help if you explained it to me?
Anyway, thank you for entering and best of luck to you. -
Oh my! I step back, I step back again… looking at you; this is a side of you I haven’t seen before. Well done and the use of the repetition works well here.
Love,
Amera
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