you stand out in the hallway
talking on the cell phone
those perfect lips I want to kiss
twisted into a frown
leaving vertical lines in your face
I want to smooth them away
you call me "buddy" when I pass you in the hallway
I dream about you when I sleep at night
you laugh and joke with me when
all I want to do is throw you on the floor
rip your clothes off
do things to you
but your little side comments
full of innuendo
and those looks that you give me
leave me with a sense of
antici-
Author notes
No, I will not finish it. It's part of the feel
In a list
I left it like that on purpose
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
I did not even notice the I's. I really like it, I like your writing because it sounds so honest and it is something that I can definitely relate to. I got onto your page because I saw one of your freewrites and I thought it was interesting. I love how you ended the poem, I really did feel a sense of antici- ....You know what I mean. lol
-
a good poem here though using a capital i in the poem was a distraction as elsewhere in the piece you are using lowercase mainly.
-
-
Um, I do believe that using a capital I when referring to myself is good grammar. Scratch that. I KNOW that it's good grammar. So why is it a problem?
-
-
because you are not using any other capitals at all in your poem, it would be good grammar if you had used capitals in the rest of the poem!
-
-
what else is there to capitalize?
-
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
