I shook my head as I watched the news.
More lives are gone from the pull of a single trigger.
And I see the rumors pile on top of each other.
He was gay.
He was insane.
He was an anarchist.
He was a sociopath.
He was a terrorist.
But I can tell what happened with a single glance.
Years of teasing and bullying
Or some such torture of the schoolyard degree.
Strong emotion, heated thought
And no one to talk to.
We used the stereotyping that America is so fond of,
And labeled him like a can of food.
And so he counsleled himself,
Sinking deeper into the soothing darkness of oblivion
Until his humanity died with a silent cry
And the loud shot of a gun.
According to my "professional opinion"
My diagnosis is
And overdose of society's best-of-worsts
Author notes
option l
A contest entry
- The Most Intresting Options I Can Think Of!!!!!!!! by S D McDaniel.
750 points, ended May 16, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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well Bekah, while you have some not so great reviews i loved it. i really did. it makes people think. it makes you question all the murderers you've ever heard of. was hannibal teased? how about hitler? do people ever think of that?
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hannibal went through worse than teasing alice...according to records...he was forced to eat the boiled down flesh of his own sister.
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Good piece. I liked this. By the insane thing- do you mean autism? Because I'm on the spectrum and I'm certainly not insane. However, I think all murderers DO have to be a bit mad- whether becuase they're mentally ill normally or driven by things such as war, starvation, jealousy etc to go mad for awhile and in that kill people.
This was a good piece. Bullying is horrible. Although I've never been tempted to go out and kill people, I can see how some people do get like that- especially if he was perhaps threatened beforehand (I guess we'd know that by now though
). Good luck in the contest.
Pozo
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definately one possibility...
this poem shows one definate possibility, as far as it goes. There are a lot of children that are outcasts of society. In fact, I was one of them. Teased and tortured (figuratively, and sometimes literally speaking), always feeling like I would never fit in... even as an adult, sometimes I still feel like I am on the outside looking in.
But I have never thought of killing anyone. So why is it that I didn't turn out to be a mass murderer, and this guy did?
Sorry... I got on a tangent there. The truth is... this poem makes me think. Makes me wonder about society, and it's flaws. I feel that the cruelty of society today does play a part in these tragedies... I just think there is more to it than that. After all, there are plenty of us social outcasts out there that don't resort to violence.
As for the poem itself... I think it's very straight forward and consice. Definately a matter of fact piece.
What I like about this poem : it's straight forward attitude. It is what it is. There's no beating around the bush.
What I think could be improved: there's no imagery, no emotion. It's a straight forward diagnosis... and while it does make me think... it doesn't evoke anything out of me, other than more questions. It actually has the feel of a psychologist's diagnosis... which, if that's what you were going for, is good... but I was looking for something that made me FEEL what this guy was going through... feel the pain and anger that drove him to such an atrocity.
I just don't get that from this piece.
Over all, I think you have a good start here... I just feel you are scratching the surface, not delving into the depths of the subject.
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