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Memories of Last Summer

 

Sunburning only happens
When you're not careful
Make sure to put on sunscreen
You'll be very thankful

I know this because
One time at camp
I forgot my  sunscreen
And I was like, "Oh snap!"

But camp still was fun
It was, I'm telling the truth
I met a boy there
He had a silver tooth

One day he came over
It was really nice out
The weather was brilliant
So nice we could've had a stake-out

And oh, the good times
I can't name them all
The toiletpapering late at night
There is too much to recall

Then there was those days at the lake
The sun shown so brightly
I got to go tubing

And man, I was holding on tightly

 

No homework was ever due Monday

I couldn't get enough of it

All I could do was live it out

Everyday was sweet bliss

 

But yes, it had to end

The sweet days of summer

Were everything, my second life

When they were over, that was a huge bummer!
 

















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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • HannahBrookeXD
    May 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, yes doesn't this just describe summer?! Sometimes the rhyming seems a bit forced, but it's still very nice! Great Job! -hannah


  • trista gold member
    May 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hi Hon,

    Yes, I'm finally getting to comment on this! I read it earlier and it me wonder which summer this was from, and which boy you're talking about. Maybe you will tell me later.

    I think you did a good job telling your story, but the rhyming still needs a bit of practice. It rhymes fine, that is not a problem, but it does sound a little forced in places. (That is something a LOT of people who rhyme have trouble with, me included!) You really want to tell the story your way, and use words that express exactly what you want, and not have the words dictate the poem. Does that make sense? The good news is, the more you write, the easier all that will get.

    The only other thing I'm wondering is the line about homework being due on Mondays, when it's summer you're writing about. Almost makes it sound like homework was due on other days? (And I know you were not in summer school ever. lol)

    I enjoyed reading this a lot, and definitely give you 3 little bunny applauds for effort and imagery. Keep 'em coming, and just think...summer is almost here again! Yay!

    Love ya,
    ~Aunt J.


    • PoetryDove
      May 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      " No homework was ever due on Monday"
      I say this because usually our teachers at school will be super mean and give us homework over the weekend. So when it's summer, there's nothing to turn in on Monday...there's no school LOL
      Well I hope you got that now, do you get it?
      Yeah, summer is definately coming...I think we only have like 15 days left of school Awesome isn't it?!!!
      I guess I can sorta see how you think that I forced the rhyming in one stanza:

      "No homework was ever due Monday
      I couldn't get enough of it
      All I could do was live it out
      Everyday was sweet bliss"

      It and Bliss do not rhyme at all I finally figured out. At one point I thought they were near-rhyming words...but oh well
      I couldn't find out anything to rhyme lol
      Well, Other than that I don't really think that I forced rhymes...it may sound corny but that's okay!
      It may just be me
      Love ya lots
      ~Poetrydove~


  • fleur de lys
    May 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Sounds like a great summer - one to remember and tell your children!

    Hugs and love,
    Petratani

  • pozo
    May 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Fun and interesting poem about summer.
    Thanks for your comment
    Pozo

1 - 5 of 5