Darkest day
And blackest night
Burning fire
And winds alight
Dark inferno
Of death and fear
Crimson blood
And a red tear
Into the abyss
Of endless pain
All to miss
And none to gain
Into the night
Hide from the light
Lose the fight
Your mind alight
You're gone
Author notes
Crimson, abyss
A contest entry
- Darkest of the Darklings by whipped rose.
390 points, ended May 16, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Raven Qualifier - Dark: Anger, Angst and Goth by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 124 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I think that very fast pace of this poem adds meaning and strength to the simplicity of the words that might not otherwise be felt from them. The use of rhyme aids the flow. The first twelve lines appear to follow the same scheme, while lines thirteen to sixteen are all completed with the same rhyme, and the concluding line is different all together. I personally think the concluding line might be better if it was situated on its own to add a final blast of strength to the poem. I think the feelings of fear are quite evident and some of the images quite intense. I liked the lines “Dark inferno / Of death and fear.”
Thank you for entering the Raven Contest 2007 and good luck with your entry! Your work may also be viewed by other Raven judges.
Northern Raven
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Great write! I don't always like dark poems, but I really liked this one. And I'm not just saying that.
~*~Dawn~*~ -
personally, i think peopel gave the dark a false impretions. i mean who exact;y said the night and darkness is scary. i love the dark. i think it is freindly. anyway. the way you described this was excellent so i wont complain.
=D
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Oooo! This was very interesting! I like the flow and how it started getting faster and to me it felt more frantic towards the end. It is indeed dark. Fabulous!
Good luck!
-Dlvvanzor
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