Soft midnight skies upon we kissed
In a starry dream we caressed
Sounds of your rose fragrant breath
Inhaled me in its dream so sweet
Thin sheets of night, visions ingest
In love’s beauty, emotions undress
I take pleasure upon your steps
Where I take you to a dream so sweet
With yearn of cadence sways your flesh
On miles of crave my voice confess
You kiss my heart within my chest
You chase me in a dream so sweet
You dance your hands upon my breast
To find where all my bliss is kept
I sense your tongue dry the wet
You abscond me in a dream so sweet
Your pleasures carress my tender breathe
As my heart I find within your chest
What stars that fall within my breathe
I lie in a dream so sweet
The night write stories of our kiss
As I feel the stars dance in bliss
A starry love I sleep in wet
I dream my love in a dream so sweet
"I found my love within my dream
There he waited upon the sky for me
Prepared the momments with stars of beam
I dreamt my love in a dream so sweet"
Author notes
Option 3
In a list
A contest entry
- In A Dream So Far by Zerstort.
380 points, ended December 1, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sweet Kisses at Dusk by DevinCora.
1050 points, ended January 23, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A ...=...Anything by TheAshtrayGirl.
550 points, ended March 13, 2008, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sonnets Only by Cupcrazy.
1000 points, ended April 8, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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:)
Excellent
Very nicely done
Romantic & sensual yet very beautiful
Great job
Thankyou for entering my contest
&
Goodluck
Jaz <3 -
OH my..... I loved this!!! now this is what I am talking about when I say beautiful erotic!!!! THis was so romanticly put together, and such strong emotion. THe words, the rhythm, the everything was perfect on this piece..... I do sincerly wish you the best of luck on this one!!!1
Sincerly
DevinCora
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While this is a really strong piece, with the perfect rhyme, flow, and imagery; it isn't exactly a fairy tale, it's more of a description. Also, it's a bit too 'borderline' on erotica for the contest. But thanks for entering it anyway. It is very well written, and I'm sure will do excellently in a different contest!
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Nice write...
Thanks.
*PEACE* -
Fabulous job with the assonant rhymes
I haven't seen this yet in this contest, but I still have a long way to go before I am done reading and commenting.
Great use of figures of speech. You have a very lovely write here.
s and best wishes always... ~Genie~
Note: Due to high volume of entries, I'll be using a scoring system to judge after the contest closes.
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simply great
your writing is so so lovely.its simply wonderfull.
i can almost imagine the dream. -
Lovely
*sigh* i wish this was my dream. nice job with imagery and flow, it flawless (perfect) i luv it
red roses
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That's it? I was jus getting into it. This poem is hard yo. Not just cause I can understand but it's sexy and all that good stuff, it rhymes, and I can't begin to tell you how much I'd like to do those things.
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Nice Repetition
Very lovely write, and I loved the was you exprssed emotions. Inviting us into your dreams of desire.
Very good write, beautiful and different....novy
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wonderful write here!
Good way to describe your emotions...good way to tell how they make you feel.
Good flow easy to read...love these kinds of poems to read ...so yeah awsome poem!
Jammi
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Hey, this is simply beautiful in its description. I like how the poem has no crazy background or anything, it relies solely on itself to tell the tale, and it does an excellent job. It is so soft, smooth, sensual, yet full of honest love as well. Great balance there. Line five rocks.
Typos: S1L3 breathe/=breath to rhyme
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thank you so much
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great writing...you really were able to put your emotions into words with this one. thank you for sharing. peace and light always in all ways, Kendal
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thank you so much
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