Battling the Inner Demon

This is a message to anyone who thinks they know me:
(You don’t)
So don’t pretend to understand the issues I’m unfolding,
I’m so sick of being told, “Be strong”
When everything in this world I live for is gone…

I’ve lost all faith in the Human race,
I’m angry at the Universe,
For the way she treats me now,
Keeps me down…

Stare in my face and see the Evil that’s inside of me,
The Evil that resides in me,
The Evil that won’t set me free,
I want to cut these chains and set me free,
Tear down these walls and set me free,
Burn down this bridge between you and me,

I play with words to keep myself sane,
As blood pours from these walls,
And down the drain,

I’ve burned every bridge over the troubled waters,
Broadened the flames,
Hotter and hotter,
And now I can never get off this awful island…
Under siege by this seething barrier of Poseidon,

Playing with words to keep me from crying,
And despite my brutal defiance,
The Sandman’s slowly taking over both my eyelids…

Running circles ‘til I fall weeping,
Into these island sands of utter silence,
Still trying to walk these tightropes to fame,
Without big toes…
(What a shame)

I’m falling without a safety net,
As I act the poet and play with words,
To keep me sane,
Alone on this desert island,
Growing insane,

I’m going insane,
These burning sands are cocaine…

Making dumb jokes just to hear myself speak,
Psychological decay,
Every day is now the same,
Always with this same sad game,

Always something new to blame,
Always something new to say…
‘Cause I lie a lot,

The real truth,
If there ever was one,
Was lost long ago,
‘Cause nowadays I don’t even know,
If half of what I say is true,

Every second, everyday,
Every minute, every way,
I keep on fighting all the day,
Against this psychological decay,

Alone on this desert island,
Growing insane,
I’m going insane,
These burning sands are cocaine…

“One plus two is three,”
“Or so you say,”
“I’ll find out everything you say,”
“I’ll keep on fighting you all the day,”

“One plus two is three,” you say,
“I can’t tell, this fucking mental brain decay!”
“Just keep on fighting me all the day,” you say,
“One plus two is three,” you say,
“No! That’s incorrect!” I say,

“Can we try to save your mind?” you ask,
I say, “No, you lost me at hello. Good-bye”
“Good-day,” you say,

I tell you to get the hell out my door,
But it seems that you can’t find the way,
Or that you just insist that you stay…

“We’ll be getting high and making fun of everybody,” you say,

I’m going insane,
These burning sands are cocaine…

“Nothing can hurt them like your mouth,” you say,
“I wish you would just stay the fuck away,
I will be fine alone,” I say,

Playing with words to keep me sane,
As blood pours from these walls and down the drain,
These burning sands are cocaine,
I am going to go insane…

I welcome the pain…

“Oh no!” I scream,
“This islands had a population overflow!”
Human innards are starting to fly,
As I cut your neck to make you die,

I’m fucking with reality,
I’m losing my identity,
I can’t withstand, I can’t defeat,
I see the knife, and then you bleed,
I feel the pain, and then I scream,

See, I can’t stand your fucking presence,
Always in front of my eyes,
So I got pissed,
But at your death I cry…

I am now all alone in my troubles,
Only myself to lash out at,
With these deadly verbal belt-buckles,

I try to run,
I try to hide,
But I’m trapped on this desert island,
Inside my mind,

Inside my mind,
I try to run,
But you can’t run towards yesterday,
However hard you try,

The desert sun is such a heavy light,
Reliving the shit that landed me here,
In my dreams, every night,
Every struggle is now a deadly fight,
Every meal I choke on sand on every bite,

And these island sands are cocaine,
I’m really going insane…

Cut off from society,
I’m trapped in my own mind’s entity,
And though the island fires been tamed,
My mind is still wrapped in flame,

I burned every bridge over the troubled waters,
Broadened the flames,
Hotter and hotter,
I can never get off this awful island,
Under siege by this seething barrier of Poseidon,

And though the island fires been tamed,
My mind is still wrapped in flame,
And despite my brutal defiance,
The Sandman’s slowly taking over both my eyelids.