lightning fusing glass roots from
strikes mountain sand
hard the tree splintering
man into
jolting kindling and
heart smoke
not
unlike
love
Author notes
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Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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split or forked lightning you have illustrated with these words - interesting shape you have written here - liked the use of space and the message you share with these words.
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It does seem to sneek up on us and strike really fast. I like the structured lines and throughly enjoyed reading.
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The night is full of signs -
with the body and face of a man
these signs are his journeys
the rock splits
and speaks to the water
the flame burns
and speaks to the clouds
like grains of sand on the sea floor
that speak to the moon
and the loud hammering of hearts
speak, running up the bones of our thighs
we hear the hoofs over the seethe of the sea...
a cluster of lights in the night sky
faces before a pillar of fire
watching
while the sea breaks open
this night
we find the way in
LM, M
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Brilliant
This is so so fantastic- I liked this style of yours - only someone with your brilliance could manage it - and I liked the way you paralled nature with love- both have so much unleashed power and both l;eave such aftermats
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you always enjoyed the word poems - what are they called ? concrete i think ... i enjoyed this one - its message and its delivery ... although i think the 'strikes hard the man jolting heart' could be improved to facilitate a smoother transition from the striking to the jolting ...
the other chains follow quite well
i wonder too if the top line could flow as one without the break .... lightening as this top level strength/hierarchy in my mind (and only in my mind ! where from all chains and branches spring from ...
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ah!
Well I just read your comment down at the bottom of the page. Evidently I was reading it correctly! I tried all paths.... I feel better now! LOL. I'm not stupid after all. I do love the way it's written to look like a lightning bolt. Concrete poetry was always a fave of mine! -
interesting..
Definitely a new style for you. I like it, I love the imagery, but I almost had a difficult time following the lines... it was like I couldn't figure out which way I was supposed to go with it! Of course, that's probably just my brain being fried from final exams and a horrible week at work! I do really love the imagery though, and the feeling this poem gives you. It's full of mystery and a gentle flame...
Well done!
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looks cool though im not sure i know the order to read it in lol
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You're a Goober lol
This is a very good way to trick someone. lol. Couldn't quit get what it was saying but had fun trying. lol. -
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A goober, eh? 
Start on the left and read down the lightning bolt. When you get to the fork, follow one of the chains. When you finish that line, start over and choose a different chain to follow. Repeat. It was written left to right, top to bottom, but you can choose your own path. Thanks for stopping by!
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