A strong wind carried my heart along the clouds,
brining me back to where I first began life anew.
Off in the smokey realms, I could see the darkness,
that shadowed my soul's last drops of dew.
Closer and closer my body lost all fates control,
as I helplessly scoured torment for awhile.
Led into the frozen abyss that covers my eyes,
fearing to find my ears covered in trials.
As I fly further into a forgotten, lonely world,
there I clash like a storm of no existence.
Becoming the ghost my future has laid before me,
as a blanket smothers my path in the distance.
A contest entry
- Empty and Pain-filled by Whispered Lullabys.
500 points, ended May 15, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
The rhyming in this poem was very good. It seems to make its own point in what it is trying to express.
"Closer and closer my body lost all fates control,
as I helplessly scoured torment for awhile."
Good job and Good Luck in my contest!
~:~Kaela~:~ -
*Claps.* Excellent, Sabrina ^.^ Magnifico. The rhymes were not forced, and the flow was excellent. The only thing I see is that I think you meant "led," not "lead" in the first line of the fourth stanza.
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