You:
Beautiful
Polite
Strong
Stable
Young
Smart
Rich
Content
Learned
Complete
Loved
Happy.
Me:
Talented
Insecure
Popular
Pretty
Young
Sexy
Hurt
Broken
Lonely
Misused
Misunderstood
Incomplete
Unloved
Unhappy.
A contest entry
- Look At All the Lonely People III by Diseased Mind.
550 points, ended May 11, 2007, 2 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This defenately shows characters, Is this suppost to have emotion, or is it a statement, I think it makes a very good statement. Does this form have a name or is it your own invintion.

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intresting
this clearly show the differences of two people. -
Wow.
This is so uniquely written, but I love it! I especially loved how you at the end of his section you wrote: Happy. And at the end of your's you wrote: Unhappy.
Even though there's no descriptions in this piece, by the words you used the read [me] can tell that you're broken, while he's out happy and having a good time.
Wow.
I am in awe right now! This is ahhmazing! I will definitely have to check out your other poems! <3

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Lonely
Misused
Misunderstood
Incomplete
Unloved
Unhappy.
Humm it is a surprise with peculiar poetry yet very powerful statements here..I love its depth and its truth of the concept my friend..the pain of the muse here revels the secrets of the lonely life in every line here in this write..The pace and the structure of the write softly takes us towards the world of its inner meaning and that is just wonderful my friend... -
Excellent
Very simplistic and stright foward
which amplifies each word
and raises them above the page to be herd
Love it
Rick

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wow less is better. This is an excellent write. The words really paint a picture in one pain. The pain could be felt and heard in your words. I truly like the style you wrote this poem. It easy to relate to I feel many humans have had there hearts broke. The comments you have are very good. I want to thank you for taking the time to read my work. I truly appreciate your comments. Have a great day
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Thanks for commenting too.I appreciate, and I'm glad you liked it.
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I feel the same way in muy deepest thoughts. But I never let them surface for I am afraid I wont be able to push them back into hidding well written piece here
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Touching
this made me so sad cause i feel the exact same way but im sure if you look hard enuff you'll find those things in yourself too. congrats on the gold cup. Like the format,its almost a winding path of disbelief in oneself. Short & simple as it should be

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Awesome
This poem was bad ass.. I don't get to read alot like this one.. The way you wrote it spelled out a lot about yourself. I hope to read more.
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i am unhappy...
simple but straight to the point
well done
thank you for sharing
and congrats in winning the gold cup
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I know exactly how you feel, and I think most people do. You are not the only one who thinks everyone else has to be better than we are. I would love to see this expanded into a longer version of this. wonderful job though.

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Interesting piece to be certain, although the list type format is not something I can say that I liked, although it is jes my preference here. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors.
Hetohke'e
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could maybe be done slightly more artistically but maybe thats a point you wanted to make?? this is simple but thoughtful. nice work!

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good write in easy word
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I hope this is not the reflection you see in a mirror? For that would be truly sad, but at least you named the positive things firstly, we are of our own making and not other people's perceptions. Inside is a strong and vibrant person with a heart, that is the most important thing, the rest is merely window dressing
Love, C


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It's good but I think it would be better if those words made any sentences... Differently written... Nice to read.
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