Thoughts

For six long years I wanted her
and for ten months I had her
there were brake ups
there were make ups
there was happiness
there was sadness
there was pain
but most of all
I thought there was love
for so long she was my one desire
for so long she was the one I lived my life for
for so long she was everything to me
and then she wanted to be friends
and then she ripped the heart from my chest
and then she sucked the life from my soul
and all the love I'd held all these years
vanished with a kiss
yes I kissed her to prove
I no longer cared
and with that kiss
my heart died
and everything I believed
love was shattered
and I was lost with nothing left
so I went out with my friends
to try and make it seem
nothing bothered me
but its been eating at my soul
seven years I wasted
on someone who never cared
But now it seems I found someone
someone who loves me
someone who wants me
someone who cares
and I tell her I love her
but the awful truth is
I don't know if I can
I don't know if I can trust her
I don't know if I can let her in
I don't know if I can give her what she needs
I don't know what she wants
because she wont tell me
I've forgotten how to be in love
I've forgotten how to love someone else
I've forgotten how to give a shit
I've forgotten how to be Kenneth Davis

the only thing I remember
is that I don't mean shit
when she's with friends
and I need to stay the fuck away
or shut the fuck up
and to leave her the fuck alone
Yeah, the only thing I remember now
is that I can only hold her
only when she feels like it
that I can only kiss her
when she wants to
but most of all the only thing I remember
from being with the one I'd loved
is that I don't mean shit
unless I'm doing what she wants
or she's getting what she wants