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Painful Memories

every day i have to live with it
i have to live with his face in my life
i have to live with the regret of it
i have to live with the pain of it


why did he do the thing he did
i thought all he wanted was help
but he wanted something else
he wanted his pleasure


and he wanted it from me
he didn't need help
he only wanted to take my innocence
the memories hunts me to this day


i try to drink it away
but it comes back
and wont ever leave my dreams


i cry every night thinking
if only i did it different
if only i stayed away from that store
if only i said i couldn't help him


why did i let him do that
why do i feel so torn apart from it
i make these cuts to punish my self
for what i did


even tho they say i did nothing
and its not my fault
then why dose it feel like it is
memories are the things that kill me


why dose my first memory have to be
of me being beaten in an orphanage
why cant i have good memories


why is the bottle not helping me any more
its only making it worse


god help me
i use to feel close to you
but now i cant find you in my heart
what has happened


why do you let some people live
why did i have to be the victim
how do i move on when I'm always reminded of it
help me


i feel all alone in this cold world
i feel as if people don't have hearts anymore
how can they live with them self's like that
how can they do such twisted evil tricks on
the Innocent ones

Author notes

yes this is a true poem and yes this sadly happend to me. i was melested when i was in a store by an old man. and i was beten in the orphoning that i was in. oh and its for option 1

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Comments

  • heartofpainfultears
    June 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is a very sad piece i am sorry this happened to you i may not know what it was like but this guy i know he tried to rape me but i got away before he got the chance so i know how you feel.


  • SeraphicKisses
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is an alright poem, but I think that with a better vocabulary and a different verse, this poem could be tons better.
    Good luck in the contest.


  • Fallen Grace silver member
    May 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very sad poem. I felt the pain that you were expressing in your words.
    "why dose my first memory have to be
    of me being beaten in an orphanage
    why cant i have good memories"
    I'm sorry you had to go through that. I know what it's like to be abused so I can relate to this poem.
    Aside from a few spelling errors that I saw, this is all in all a very good poem. Thank you for entering this in my contest. Good luck to you!

    ~:~Kaela~:~