Welcome to the gallery of fantasies
Where all your dreams become realities
But only if you close your eyes
Will you be able to see the world of lies
It all begins with a simple desire
The will to light the frozen fire
So you cannot be bound by the chains of pain
And the caged bird can fly away in the rain
Happiness was my greatest masterpiece
And emptiness was my greatest release
I have been here many times before
But after a while, the two worlds clash with war
I am the creator and this is my creation
But sanity is trying to erase imagination
Dreams will be crushed by the harsh truth
Furtive chaos will trap the mind of youth
Broken logic becomes ludicrous, drenched in sorrow
It tries to tarnish the face of tomorrow
It becomes the fool and follows the darkness
Tempted by the cursed angel of distress
Trapped inside the agony of its own amusement
It doesn't realize its containment
Its home is jaded and plagued with hatred
Coldness creeps in despair without tears being shed
Night disguises us when it is time to revisit
Not even it can stop us, and sanity will lose it
In here, there's a sweet kind of anguish
Wanting to stay forever, we can only wish
A contest entry
- Send Me A Poem by crystallynnbradford.
400 points, ended November 9, 2007, 52 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me Everything you've Got by CrystalJet.
600 points, ended March 14, 2008, 318 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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love it
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awesome write
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great poem. I really enjoyed reading it!! Thank you for entering it and good luck!
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I like this piece...it rhymes really well and it describes the gallery of fantasies really well and then the danger of always brooding upon them and how it ruins your real life if unatainable wishes are all you think of and you stop working to attain things and only dreaming of them....I loved the topic it was creative.
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I really like this =) It reminds me of my own opinions and I love the way you put rhym to it (I am a poet who cant rhym to save my life sadly) so I congragulate you on that. Your words brought me quite intense images and I think that is great. Good job!
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I do like the fantasy-sense you have written some of these images--It fits in with the title of the poem very well.
As a rhymed poem, some of the meter is off in places and I think if you read this aloud you'll discover this yourself. You can probably can adjust the meter by some word-tweaking, but overall it's a good poem.
Best wishes to you in the contest!
Jo
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Nice start.
I suppose the biggest problem I have with this is the rhythm. The first stanza sets the beat, but the second one throws it off. Some of the lines left me scratching my head: "And the caged bird can fly away in the rain". Not sure where it came from, or where it is going.
I think, with some work, this could be very good; as it is, it is nice, but needs polishing.
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I needed that.
This is just great, a wonderful visual and let me tell you it touched me on a level I understand all to well. This is just great and you did a great job on telling and painting this poem.
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Very well written thoughts that are so true. Dreams and fantasy beat reality at times for sure. Thank you for entering and good luck.
Jeannie
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Woah.. just... woah... definitely one of your awesomer poems =)
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very nicely penned, and it flows very nicely. good job and good luck in the contest.
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My gallery of fantasies is more color than actuality. But in the colors you find what you're looking for, if it's the right shade and hue, even tint makes a difference.
Reality sucks, in general. But your poem doesn't. I liked how you referred to fantasy as a "world of lies", because it's true, much as I like to disagree. I also liked the way you described reality as breaking up the world of fantasy with it's harshness, very nice. All in all, I rather enjoyed it.
Sweetest of dreams! ~D -
Deep
I love the flow of it and the thought put into it. Keep it up!
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it's hard to balance fantasy with reality.
fantasy is so much more fun, but at the same time it isn't real.
an interesting piece. nicely done. -
Excellent Poem
I liked it But it sounds like you could added more to it!Keep on writing!Lisa K haslett Raytown Missouri!
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