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"The One That Hides"

The one that hides;
she looks so happy
A young lady; hardly 15
on the inside she is torn
  into fragments of self-disgust
    She sells her soul to hate's
    innocence-devouring demons
down the halls,
she walks with a smile
(but how could they ever know)
the smile was not one of content
but one of love-consuming fear
(how were they to know)
that what appeared as self confidence
was infact--a direct response to fear
    fear of inadequecy
    fear of what she was capable of
      fear of tommorow
(how were they to know)
  that she gambles her heart
to people that will never care;
and her mind
  to thoughts that would destroy her 
(how were they to see)
the hidden girl behind just another face;
  they didn't look,
    so they failed to see,
    and they failed to save,
      the one that hides


Author notes

It came out being a very original and unique format. I don't typically write free-verse, but I just felt inspired by the title and by my favorite writer.Guess who? Hint:His name starts with Edgar and ends in Allan Poe. No, I'm not depressed, it's poetry people--it's just art!

*Option C.) Your best freeverse poem.*

A contest entry

Comments are appreciated.

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • LittleDecoy
    August 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    well i'm glad you were inspired because this is a beautiful poem. =)
    i felt it flowed really well and i could definitely relate to it in so many ways.
    great job!! thanks for entering!! =D
    and good luck.


    • renizzle
      August 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much. I'm glad you like it. And don't let a breakup consume you or linger in your thoughts longer than it needs to, if the relationship ended it's because there's someone better for you. And when you find them, you'll forget all about heartache spent over someone less than the best.


  • Girl With Guitar silver member
    July 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "(how were they to know)
    that she gambles her heart
    to people that will never care;
    and her mind
    to thoughts that would destroy her "
    I believe that it is the above lines that make this piece what it is. Very well written, the set up is a little strange but I'm digging it. Great work, I love that you've written this in freeverse,

    Bandaid.


  • The-Phoenix
    June 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is something that I think every girl can relate to in one way or another. Great job!
    ~Phoenix


  • thelovesongwriter
    June 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    lovely..i can relate to this alot. great job and good luck


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    May 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Sounds a bit like a 15 year old me, it almost amazes me that this isn't about me. Bit like that Strubbing My Pain song, as it sort of tells of me and the way I was. This is a sad piece that a lot of people overlook somewhat, if they haven't gone through it themselves.


  • imperfectperfection
    May 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Uniquely Beautiful

    It is indeed a uniquely written poem that is beautifully sad... it's often now-a-days, there are kids pretending outside while squatting to fear inside with no way to let it all out.. Unfortunately, children ghave lot to deal with that we elders often ignore and not respect their individuality and their feelings... hopefully they can be saved inside & out... Very well written that has a perfect flow of free verse... Good luck in the contest... take care Minoo


  • vampireblood
    May 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was an interesting piece, Edgar Allan Poe is one of my favorite writers. I liked the overall flow of the poem. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
    ~~~Vampy~~~


  • Last Pixie
    May 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very deep. i like it. its the first poem i read and i'm already considering it as a finalist. good job and good luck!

    ~D3Z~

    • renizzle
      May 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your commment! It'd be pretty awesome to be a finalist. I'm fairly new to allpoetry, so I don't have any trophies or points yet


  • Fallen Grace silver member
    May 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Edgar Allan Poe is one of my favorite writers, too. I especially like "The Raven".

    This poem is very interesting and I enjoyed reading it.
    "(how were they to see)
    the hidden girl behind just another face;
    they didn't look,
    so they failed to see,
    and they failed to save,
    the one that hides"
    That was my favorite part. How they failed to save here because they didn't open their eyes to see what was wrong.

    I'm glad that you were inspired by one of the titles I came up with. Thank you for your entry and Good Luck in my contest!

    ~:~Kaela~:~

1 - 11 of 11