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Neon Pink Fishnets

the sweat drips down your face
clinging to the hair at your temples
and making your skin shimmer
glimmer
shine
the heat is suffocating
and I can't see how you're dressed the way you are
the bottle in my hand sweats
leaving rings of darkness on the concrete
I want to drown my sorrows in the puddle of rain water on the corner
but the vodka doesn't burn enough
and I'm still sober
sober enough to dream
sober enough to care
my hands travel up your leg
tracing patterns in the neon pink fishnets that obscure your skin
disappearing into a plaid covered dream
I feel so numb and hollow
feel nothing but the fabric under my hands
I want you to push me away so I can yearn for you again
but your lies are the chains that suffocate you
and it doesn't matter
nothing matters any more

Author notes

“And Your Lies Are The Chains That Suffocate You”

umm... I know you said no sexuality, but I'm not really sure what you meant by that... if this isn't what you were looking for, then please tell me and I will remove it.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Lady Voldemort silver member
    November 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is amazing. so many different visuals all at once...sheesh. Your writing is [still] incredible.
    ...DUH.

    oh yeah...and I less than three you too!! =D keep writing chica

    MORSMORDRE!
    - The Dark Lady

    • pointlessdayz gold member
      November 20, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      lol... Im glad you (still) like my stuff!

      you keep writing too!!!!!!!!!!!

      *twitch* hyper...

      talk to ya later!

  • MrsPepper
    October 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Steamy

    This is a raw emotional piece. I think it's brilliant.
    Cannot wait to read more of your work.


  • quantumsurveyor
    October 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The work is permeated by a misplaced yearning and yet appears to cover transgression and regression in equal measure; the final act of (almost) contrition depends on truth.
    • pointlessdayz gold member
      October 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      While I thank you for your comment on this piece, I would also like to point out that you don't really say anything conclusive.

  • MissStranger
    October 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "I want you to push me away so I can yearn for you again"...an amazing line hidden between images and meanings within an amazing poem!the title strikes from the start by saying all and nothing in the same time!well done indeed!

  • Keep On Sewing
    May 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Well, this isn't really the kind of sexuality I didn't want. This is a very good write. It's so...strong. It's a wave of feelings hitting the reader all at once. Thank you for entering my contest. ^.^



    ~S~

    • pointlessdayz gold member
      May 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      you are very welcome

      thanks for hosting this contest! It was fun to write, and I would enter again, but I think you put it as one entry per person... I need to go check that... Hmm... awesome contest! Thanks again

      -alex

  • sweetpearl
    May 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I like this, the repetition of "sober" was effective and this read really well. It seems full but doesn't have too much you get sick, do you know what I mean? I like the way this goes:

    "making your skin shimmer
    glimmer
    shine"

    --slips off the tongue nicely. An enjoyable read, thanks.

    • pointlessdayz gold member
      May 1, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      why thank you

      I'm sure I enjoyed writing this as much as you enjoyed reading it! thanks for reading!
1 - 11 of 11