hes acting like the boy i used to know
the first love i ever had
i was never good enough
we were never right
every word i spoke to him was always wrong or misplaced
i could never make him see
all the things he meant to me
[im finding someone new and great
but i've found hes just the same]
and now as im sitting in my darkened room;;
the lightening flashing, the thunder rolling
im pulling my mind away from him
[it shouldn't hurt this much already]
the sky is pouring out its feeling
as the rain pushes itseld out harder
its flattening the newly green grass
and those pretty colored flowers
that were thriving on [plastic]and foam.
the rain is pounding[its hurting]
all i want to do is cry my heart to pieces
but my tears wont flow;
maybe he was right about the pain.
when it hurts this much-bodies go numb;
life is just another thing in a book
i say his name once[then twice]
acting as if he can hear me,
knowing that he cant
but at least i tried; is that good enough?
the blue light of the radio
is melting as the lightening doesn't stop
but the sad[imperfected]love song
playplayplay as my mind drifts back to yesterday
Yesterday i was in love
with just everything he did
every fucking smile;every vibrant laugh
and now i dont think i could look at him.
My body aches at my lower back
my legs from where he touched me
[it shouldn't hurt this much already]
but maybe it was meant to
and life is just a game
i dont know if i can play this using game
anymore that i can stand the constant pain
we weren't supposed to end this way
but loving words are standing still.
he says hes in love with me
[But should i believe those words?]
m. m. o'malley
5-1-07
9 52 p.m.
Author notes
yeah, so can you tell im confused? new guys, they tell you one thing, a couple days later things change, you cant trust them, but you want too. he says he loves you, you barely know him and you dont believe it even though its in there eyes...
should i believe him and should i even stay with him?
the plastic flowers actually exist, and it was storming last night and stupid love songs always seem to be everywhere during the fucking storms...but w/e im rambling, let me know what you think of this.
LovexAlwaysxinxChaos
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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excellent
Great job on the write, your expression of confusion is very appearant. I will just say this you are the best judge of what to do in the situation, If you don't feel his love is true, than you know the answer. There are guys out there who will say those words just because they think it is what a girl wants to hear and guys do express their emotions in different ways than woman. Many women have ask themselves this same question, but the only one who can answer it it you. -
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i love your advice. as for the difference in expression, that is very apparent. when we're together, even with his friends he shows me affection and care and its so nice to feel that again, but at school its different which is understandable, and now it seems like hes starting to use me in ways where it hurts to know he looks at me that way. so idk, im going to take my time with this and not push it, and it seems hes doing the same. but so you know...i dont love him, not yet and idk if i ever could, and never could again...not after chad(who by the way is working himself in slowly again)
im happy my confusion is apparent, its what i aimed for
♥ilovers you darling and thank you
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Hmmm....that's something to really, truly think about. I don't know to tell you the truth. If you think he does, like seriously does, than maybe. Just go with your heart. Love the poem and just talk to me about it. I'm always here if you need me
<3 Jenerali
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thanks for the comment.
its not just the overall love thing, its everything of what he did after he said those words to me, which are sitting in my head and hes being difficult with everything and i need to stop rambling. like i'll have to explain this later cause i have to go.
sorry
i love you, any help is welcome.
[[Chaos]]
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