I'm waiting for the rain to fall
and wash away my memories of you
I’m waiting for this pain
To go with it to
You hurt me
More then I realized
You left me here
Alone
Paralyzed
I was lost
In the illusions of love
I didn’t realize
I was a rag doll
Abused
Unloved
You took away everything
You turned my world upside down
My heart
Black
Cold
My life
A mess
Not worth living
A single thought of you
Would bring tears to my eyes
Whenever I remembered
That you told me those lies
Your words
Unforgivable
Your actions
Intolerable
I'm waiting for the rain to fall
and wash away my memories of you
I’m waiting for this pain
To go with it to
Author notes
corrupt my soul
"I've never felt so alone in my life as I drank from the cup which was counting my time"
A contest entry
- MOST IMPROVED POET! ANYTHING~ EVERYTHING by Florida Sunshine.
525 points, ended July 5, 2007, 74 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest to Promote my Commenting ANYTHING GOES!! by Timeless Wisdom.
800 points, ended August 6, 2007, 261 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write about almost anything you want. by TheDevilInYourHead.
430 points, ended August 23, 2007, 61 entries
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380 points, ended September 3, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options Contest! Take a look by TheAshtrayGirl.
650 points, ended November 17, 2007, 55 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-writes for Sad Writes by Naridill.
300 points, ended December 30, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold Trophy denied!...... by whispernthedark.
780 points, ended January 22, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Almost Anything Goes by bloodletter68.
300 points, ended March 13, 2008, 132 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn your green into Gold!! by Freestyle Bushido.
300 points, ended May 10, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Great write. Congratulations on your honorable mention. Thank you so much for sharing and entering the contest. Good luck.
♥
whisper
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Simple yet stunning - you have weaved nicely through this. The phrasing is beautiful, as through-out it, the wording is perfect.
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Beautiful and intense. A nicely worded piece here. Very enthralling.
Thanks for entering.
Much luck
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Very deeply intense and I know your pain; it's become my best friend
Thank you for sharing and for being a part of the contest -
Nice and heartfelt I can see your pain in these words.
Great write
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This is a great piece. Excellent flow and word choice. You have a vivid talent.
Best of luck and thanks for entering!! -
Nice job! I like the form of this poem! I really felt the lost love in this poem! Great job and good luck!
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I love this poem! I also love the quote you took from the Nightwish song..."there's a poison drop in this cup of man, to drink it is to follow the left hand path..." Sorry, I love that song. As for the poem. Yoour word choice is excellent, it really makes the reader experience the emotions, not just read words, and the form, flow, and rhyme scheme is flawless. Lovely.
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i wuv! this!
this is freakin amazing!!!!!!.....i loove it!!!.....KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
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AMAZINE!
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wow
this was great; I loved the way the words flowed and how much emotion was introduced in just the first two lines;
"I'm waiting for the rain to fall
and wash away my memories of you
I’m waiting for this pain
To go with it too"
I like it alot, I also like the red text as well; somehow I think it shows how much hurt there is in a poem.
Well done!!
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Ah Poetess!
Rain is purifying, and you used the metaphor well! To dance in the rain, washing away the blood of hurt and woundedness, to spin free with glee, to shed all that kept you from being that inner ME! Wow. You sketched it so well. I think I am gonna dance in the rain, now.
Love
Myra
Thank you for reading my work, Precious.
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kewlness
THIS WAS AMAZING!!! You expressed the pain of memories that you have of someone who broke your heart. I always look foward to your poetry. Great write and Great job!!!
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