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"I am Itachi, evil incarnate and I challenge you!"


i travel in worlds unknown
a vast universe this Ninja has seen
no mortal can touch, Itachi

i am evil incarnate
i fear nothing
for i can not die

when others take stance against me
they simply kneel and cry
and pray for me to let them quickly die

 

in the halls of hell
my parents reside
both mother and father
side by side

 

i was not born
no, i tore myself free
from that putrid membrane
that tried to miscarry me

 

i came forth fully grown
i made my own mother
scream and moan
i quickly stepped out
slapped her aside
then made my way to earth's top side

 

nobody alive can make me go back
come on
i want you to try
give it a crack

 

there is no one here
to my strengths compare
i challenge anyone
no not challenge, i dare!

Author notes

9/29/09 contest entry: "Horror, Blood and Macabre"


9/16/09 contest: "Fear"

1/28/09 contest: "Dark, dark and even darker"

5/19/08 contest: "Anything goes!"

This poem is one I that is totally out of character for me..... When I see the word evil, I can only think of the devil so that's why my poem went in this direction!

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • Hikari Lady
    October 14

    Edit | Reply
    'i was not born
    no, i tore myself free
    from that putrid membrane
    that tried to miscarry me'

    This was creepy!! Such vivid imagery and such a fierce creature this one is. I loved the way you rhymed and yet kept it neat and scary. Thanks for entering and good luck.

    Love
    ~Noor


  • Dezzy26
    September 16

    Edit | Reply
    Good penning..... i enjoyed reading this. You penned it well. Not what angle i am looking for... as for this contest but it is good. It kept my attention throughout the whole write which was goood lol. Keep writting your good at it!

    Dezzi


  • Luciferschild
    January 31

    Edit | Reply
    odd but some of the stanzas do not make sense to me. some of them have nothing to do with the main idea. thank you for entering and good luck


    • jacbgd2 gold member
      February 1
      Edit | Reply
      My dear Luciferschild, I don't understand your comment at all.... Every part of this piece is totally in with the main idea for it was written from a picture prompt. Did you see the picture? The idea of this contest was to write poems that are dark, dark and darker and I don't know how much darker it could get. The main idea of this dark poem was to describe "Itachi" and every stanza was necessary for his true description. Sorry you did not enjoy it!!!! It's won prizes on other contest... I don't think my writing style is for you, but we all have our preferences. Thanks anyway!
      Joyce


  • DawnKestrel
    May 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow.
    Good luck in my contest!


  • CrystalJet
    January 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A very sort of not quite depressing, but at least dark poem. It is sort of irregular, and I would call it something of a narration or something similar to that. It is a pretty good poem, even if it is very very very very (very very, lol) dark poem. Well, nice poem, and good luck in my contest


  • katie-jo
    November 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    again, good work.


  • Tsukino Usagi
    October 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like your poem... it really reminds me of when Itachi practically wiped out the rest of the Uchiha clan on Naruto. It's dark and deep, but it characterizes Itachi well. After all, he wanted to prove his "ability!


  • PerpetualNight
    October 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a great poem it sent shiveres down my spin! Anyways please keep writing, I love the part of his 'birth' it was very creepy! Anways please keep writing!!

  • katie-jo
    October 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Intriguing

    I like the poem, and the author's notes were very helpful.
    Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.



    ~katiebird


  • liquidmindforever gold member
    September 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Dear Poet,
    Please take note of the rules. Word back is required with the words posted in Author's notes.
    Let me know when this is done/edited to fit if necessary and then I'll read and comment.
    Thank you


  • Dmonik
    September 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Nicely done. This is dark and powerful.....and brash, I like that about it. As for challenging Darkness.....many have tried....all have failed, lol. Good luck in the contest.


  • NyteShade
    September 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    nicely done. i like the descriptions in this piece. love the darkness you created...good luck in the contest.


  • poorme
    September 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow,very evil indeed!This was just a bit too much for Mikey,but I enjoyed it.Good work...Hugs,Heather


  • Poetdontknowit
    May 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    Girl, when you mean evil, you mean evil! I love this one. You won't believe thice, but I just penned a similar piece and i'm getting ready to put it on. dododododododo Awesome piece of poetic royalty, and I curtsy.
    POETDONTKNOWIT


  • Jadon
    May 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    jacbdg2 becomes Itachi!

    I am concerned that perhaps you were enjoyimg this "out of character" write too much. Just funning you.
    You did get into character very well. I had a look at the picture you drew inspiration from and see the defiance and attitude you embodied in your write. Not anyone I would care to meet on a dark night! An interesting choice of contest to challenge yourself. You met the challenge well. Jadon


  • The Cube
    May 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, very powerful words. A great description of Itachi as well. Good work!

1 - 17 of 17