[ The way that i look tonight? ]

The way that i look tonight?
The way that i feel?
What is true inside my soul?
What do i truly see as real?
Love and lust?
Hope and hate?
Even though i'm told not to
I always take the bait?

There is nothing i could tell you,
that you couldn't see yourself.
I'd never ask a guy out,
and i would NEVER ask for help.
I would never break a heart,
never lose the fight,
i love all my friends,
and would protect them with my life.

I can feel what is inside you,
and i can tell YOU who YOU are.
A gift that i've been given.
But something left a scar.
The fear of rejection,
And the loneliness i feel.
The need to leave you all
for something more surreal.

Trapped because of love,
I could never hurt them so.
I stay and try to be,
Try to live, and try to grow.
Changed by the past,
In the best way, nonetheless
losing who i loved, who i needed.
It was best

We all go through hell,
in our hearts and in our head,
that is what i told myself,
every time i bled.
But i know we have lose,
To find out how to win.
Still i try to find,
a hidden strength from within.

rape
love
hate
death
blood
suicide
morals
sex
drugs
tears
laughter
ghosts
gifts

All the things i know,

All the things i am,
Are hidden in this list.