i am no longer a colour
just a darkened shade
thrown into the shadows
of bright named faces
centred but alone
Author notes
this might not be fit for this contest ...
A contest entry
- Appealing Colors, Darkened Souls by EatYourSunlight.
300 points, ended May 16, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
Comments
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I like the effect of the word "named" in that second to last line. We've been talking about denotation/connotation in English lately, and how certain words go really well with emotions, and I just love how it was placed there. It's not "bright looking faces" or whatever else could have been there, but it's "bright named faces" and it just works so well.
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Wow, never before have I seen the color gray in such dimension. I agree that those last two lines are very vivid and extremely emotional. I like the contrast between the "bright named faces" and the color you're describing. The space between the last and second to last is excellent. Leaves the poem feeling very poignant.
There's such great imagery and wording within these five lines. It's captures an emotion that I think everyone can relate to. You presented it in a very original, yet understandable way.
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short but very powerful. You truly captured the whole situation of being in a crowded room of people but feeling so utterly alone.
fantastic job.
I fucking love this too.
Your writing lately is gorgeous.
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i love this poem!!!!!! great job! I love the last 2 lines!
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