And so this man you follow
In ruin she has been led
has led you to an empty place
to a place she fears in dread
and so you sit and sob all shaken
her tender friend is by her side
your hands to hide your face
with true love no longer denied
uncover your face , see my love
uncover your face, see my love
Author notes
FORM
reads
1.top to bottom -left
2.top to bottom -right;and
3. top to bottom
A contest entry
- I Can Not Look - closes late this evening by CarolDesjarlais.
600 points, ended May 1, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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"with true love no longer denied" flows much more smoothly, other than that this is beautiful and very well written.
La x
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a good merging with the presentation, not sure it was so smooth or reading it as whole from right to left right down to the bottom but the right side and the left side did
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Brilliant Piece of Work,
I loved the format of this form of poetry. You have show your ability to venture. The concept of the poetry is just so heartfelt, emotional, and fits the picture well. Excellent work, and brilliant job done here....................novy
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This is really kool, you did a great job on this poem. The form is a little different but the way you did it is awsome. Great read my friend...GETS
PS If ya want to know about "Split Acrostic" let me know. thanx again.
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So Sweet!!!
Wow Pete, I love this form. And your words are so romanitic. They call for a few sighs. This is a delightful poem and is such a pleasure to read. Glad I stopped by to read it.
You take care, Sandy
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I really love the way this was wriiten! You did a great job with this poem!!! It showed alot of meaning and love. Kepp on writting!! take care
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I loved this format. I have tried, unsuccesfully to do it. The poem has so much depth to it when one realizes how it can be read..how each way of reading impacts us with the same meaning..love, compassion, dearness.
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Seeing the ones close to your heart suffer is horrible. We'd like to do so much more than is possible / allowed by the other. In such situations we often prefer to be suffering in their place, but as is the case in life has its learning track for each of us. It may seem merciless while it occurs, but many times much later we must come to the conclusion that good things came out of it. Thank you for creating and sharing this heartfelt write, constructed in splendid form. Good luck in the contest. Take care,
U
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"has led you to an empty place
to a place she fears in dread"
Sighhh...a sorrowful penning, my Friend...There are paths we should not walk, but our desires lead us forward, away from knowing...Only true compassion can lead us back home...Good luck in Carol's contest, Sweetie... Wanda
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this is a very interesting format. i wont lie, it was a bit confusing. it does seem as though two people are speaking but thats from the lay out..when reading it, its like three people with two people speaking of one. her. i dont know. very interesting. different. all in all, good job with writing this. enjoyed the read. good luck in the contest!
blu
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Uncover your hands from thy face my love she whispers...love so graceful and sensual. Love this one! Good luck in your contest...~Sie
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