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Final Goodbye

Missing image

Final Goodbye

Penning my farewell in ink
What is this?
How did that spot get there?

Soon so you will know
Looking at my hand
Saying good bye forever

How did that spot get there?
You betrayed me once to often
Rubbing on my hand

Writing so you should know
Rub as I will it won’t come out
Putting it down on paper

How did that spot get there?
Signing it; sincerely
Is the spot fading?

Folding it in an envelope
Looking at my hand
Placing a first class post

Where did the spot go?
Was the spot ever there?
Were you ever there?

 

 

 

 



 

Author notes

Goodbye Angie

In a list

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Swan song gold member
    May 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very well done you are talented no doubt about that
    but i can tell you work hard at this and it shows.


  • FlaviusArrianus
    May 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful Amera love- you never cease to amaze me- honestly!

    'Penning my farewell in ink
    What is this?
    How did that spot get there?'
    Within just the first line, you could really feel the emotions and pain that the narrator is going through.

    This was lovely.


  • painfully amazing
    May 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is soo sad..dont like goodbyes..they always hurt ..well almost always..depends ..jst sometimes...you just want to hold on and stuff..thats soo true tho

    Where did the spot go?
    Was the spot ever there?
    Were you ever there?

    line kept me thinking fr a bit...haha...i loved this..keep it up

    nooreo


  • NickelleteXninja
    May 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for fixing it.


  • Moons Lunar Angel
    May 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is so sad Wonderfully written. So heartwrenching. Well written, sorry for your loss .
    Lil

  • NickelleteXninja
    April 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice job. Like i stated im not big on free verse, but this one did mark a spot... It could use some more to show where the pain has come from... and what option was this? was it a mix? Also as i stated please tell me so i know what to feed my reading off of... thanks for entering and good luck


    • Amera gold member
      April 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks and sorry. I have added the option.


  • JohnnyD gold member
    April 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Amera,

    I liked the mental exercise you did on this write, very classy and very cute. Guess its the Danish in you.
    Odd, you and Diana have something else in common huh? You're Danish, and she's Cinnamon?



    Dad


  • Whoochi gold member
    April 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    awwwwww such sadness in this write however the metaphor is brill! Pen on!


  • PerVirtuous
    April 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is very, very good. You are the queen of freeverse! Ha ha ha. Not really, but this is exceptional. I was moved. This was so descriptive and meanigful. Three bunnies.


  • Desire gold member
    April 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Aaaaaaaaaw Danggggg

    Powerful verse penned my Friend!
    Beautiful words felt from the Heart

    Love the presentation~
    -sniffle-sniffle-

    Thank You for sharing this one!
    Best wishes to You in the contest
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~

1 - 11 of 11