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I envisioned ...

Oh God

 

I was summarized throughout my childhood that

you are assured to visit me

 

I was stated to keep faith on you and to observe that

I should not forget even for a minute that you shall accomplish

 

I never forgotten Oh God I never forgotten

I envisioned that you may have difficulties while reaching to me

as I am a hand-to-mouth man and dwelled in the broken hut

so what I did ?,

I structured a very "sophisticated" road in front of my hut

 

but I am really sorry while making this high-priced road,

I had to sell my soul

which I kept safely to gift you for the occasion of your appearance

 

Oh God...

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Based on a picture...

http://allpoetry.com/contest/2346884

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • -Ink Artist-
    May 8, 2007

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    An incredibly unique direction this image prompt took your muse. Spiritually intense message you've crafted into these poignant lines. Lovely imagery and a flawless flow to your thoughts. Wonderful work! Thanks for your entry!


    ~Lori


  • Roaddog Wolf
    May 1, 2007

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    very nice

    a very important spiritual message. It made me think of the way we stray from Gods purpose with time as we grow older. How easy it is to loose our way. spiritual to material until we are offering materuial to get spiritual. very nice poem


  • Grimlathak
    May 1, 2007

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    Very creative personal interpretation on this one. I like its uniqueness in your spiritual perspective. You have a good mind for metaphoric thought. A true blessing in regards to poetry.

    This lil poetic prayer had me deeply thinking in the end.
    The sacrifice of spiritual for material in order to achieve spiritual. A very deep ponderous provocation. It still tumbles in my mind as I write this review. VERY WELL DONE!

  • Nicole Hanna
    April 30, 2007

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    You have some beautiful lines in here, though I would personally suggest editing some of the superfluous words. For instance, in the second line "I was summarized throughout my childhood that you are assured to visit me" could be "I summarized through childhood you would visit me". I think it's important to say what you need to say in as few a words as possible, and avoiding to-be verbs such as was, is, am, etc will create a sense of action that will really include the reader in the piece. Of course, I know how easy it is to overlook that kind of thing, because I do it too... a lot. lol. At any rate, some really beautiful lines in this poem that I think could definitely be even MORE beautiful if there were fewer unnecessary words detracting from their message.


  • Rose Angel gold member
    April 30, 2007

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    I like that childlike faith that welcomes God for a visit....and the preparations you have made for that visit....The childlike faith that God loves....It is here.....Never lose is.....It is a beautiful Godly characteristic...Always welcoming, always believing, always loving unconditionally.....Beautiful


  • JoyfulWriter
    April 30, 2007

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    This is such a beautiful and inspiring piece here, my friend! You have blessed so many readers with your poetry here....so well written! Good luck in this contest...smiles, Terry


  • Nature Song silver member
    April 30, 2007

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    Inspiring poem for such a wonderful picture! Good luck in your contest...~Sie


  • Amera gold member
    April 30, 2007

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    This is absolutly wonderful. I clicked, expecting a poem and I found a conversation with God; a prayer. It's powerful and one worthy of God's attention. Well done or should I say; well said?

    Love,
    Amera


  • jjbreunig3
    April 30, 2007

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    A wonderful write...

    A wonderful write; you have touched briefly upon one of the key secrets for a successful relationship with God - specifically, that we need to see ourselves as He sees us; nicely done. --Joe

1 - 9 of 9