An empty space
A crying face.
An empty heart tore
us apart.
It kills him inside
to see me walk way from
all that we have.
It can't work, Every time I see her
Triumphant smirk.
The pain from the knowledge
of what he did and how he hid
it.
The tears that I cry are fueled by
the pain you caused, this I can not over
come.
Alone he sits from one mistake, a night of
passion that went awry.
An empty space
A crying face.
An empty heart tore
us apart.
A contest entry
- By Invite Only by Heavens Child.
550 points, ended May 2, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - All My Comment Points Will Go Toward The End Prize -- All Poems Allowed!!! ♥ by xxRainbowDawnxx.
800 points, ended May 18, 2007, 141 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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To be honest at first I was thinking of not reading this poem because I had to highlight the whole thing to read it... I love the background but the font doesn't work with it...
And to the poem itself; I like it a lot. I like the form you built it to and how you ended it the same way as you started it (I like poetry like that...). There's deep emotions here that make the reader feel what you feel and I like that about poetry.
Great work
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wow, its simple but potient (not sure if i spelt that right) It's well thought out ~ VERY nice poem
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awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
nice poem -
This is very well written.... something that most of us can relate to... I really like the background, but the font you chose makes it quite difficult to read, I had to hide the background to read it. Other than that I loved it. Thanks for the entry in my contest.
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I loved it! It spoke to me in a way that I cannot begin to describe! Please keep writing more!
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I enjoyed this....very clean....simply yet powerfuly expressed without a whole bunch of owrds to take away form the sentiment. Very nice job....I also really like how you came full circle, ending with the same beginning lines. Great work!
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Oh, I so Understand!
Wow, this was so beautifully and honestely penned. What woman doesn't understand this sort of pain? Your words were so visceral they instantly brought back an old wound like a knife to my heart. Beautiful & well written. The only critique that I have on this is that your font colour is very difficult to read against your background.
Blessed Be,
***Rae***
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